Super-Mom Meredith Hansens

My name is Meredith and I am Super StepMom to a wonderful 12 year old boy, Ryan.  I have known Ryan since he was 3.  All of us know how challenging and rewarding parenting can be.  Add that four letter word into the mix, though, and there is a palpable shift.  Not necessarily a bad shift, but a shift just the same.  What does the title “Stepmother” bring to mind?  Visions of poor Cinderella locked in her room unable to attend the ball?  Hansel and Gretel being sent off into the woods on a food gathering expedition?    Unfortunately one rarely hears the term without the word “Wicked” in front of it.  But I am here to (hopefully!!!) set the record straight!

I’ll be honest; it’s not an easy job!  Being a Stepmom remains one of the biggest sources of education, joy and yes, on occasion, stress in my life.  It can be very trying and there is a lot of scrutiny from the outside world-due largely to the stereotypes and negative connotations that are associated with the term “Stepmother”.  Yoga has taught me so much about how to be a better partner and parent.  By finding more compassion for myself through my practice I am in a better position to offer that to those around me, especially my family.  Going back and forth between two very different households, one in the city (ours), one in the country (Ryan’s mom and stepdad’s), can be a real strain in a child’s life.  Two homes, two sets of rules and expectations.  Having done it myself for most of my life growing up, I know what it’s like for Ryan.  It’s a very important detail that we share in common.

My husband and I strive to make this difficult situation for his son a positive experience and a time that Ryan looks forward to.  I know we have succeeded when I see the excitement on his face over a trip to the Boston Public Library or the news that we are “just going to hang around in Boston” today.  I love that he loves the Freedom Trail and occasionally refers to himself as a “City Kid”.  My singing career exposes him to many things that he might not otherwise have in his life-costumes and dressing rooms and rehearsals and shows and lots of music.  The flip side of that is that there are occasions when I have to miss things in his life due to performances or audition trips to New York.  I’d like to think that Ryan’s life is enriched by my presence and that he will always know that he has a friend in me.

Ryan still muses from time to time about the fact that his dad and mom’s marriage didn’t work out.  But he readily acknowledges that all happens for a reason and with the way things are now he gets double the attention and love from the 4 parents (Biological and Step) in his life.  And more love can only be a good thing!