Super-crap Mom
I listened to a voicemail from my student and friend this morning as I drove to our Prana Newton studio. She had called at seven am and so I knew something was up.
“Hi Taylor, I know you’re up at four so that’s why I’m calling so early. I’m just having a little bit of a meltdown. I don’t know if I can take care of ‘John’* anymore. I don’t know if I can do it. I think I might need to give him away or something. I feel like a Super-crap mom. I need a pep talk.”
My heart melted for this Super-mom and the pain she was feeling to come to such a point. It ached for all the Super-moms out there who have felt this way—more than once most likely—and had nowhere to turn.
“Joy,”** is a wonderful mother and human being. She gives herself whole-heartedly to her son, and gives her best in each moment. She has had her challenges–with her son’s father and making ends meet–but she always pulls herself through and shows up for John. She is a yogi, raw foodist, and spiritual person who brings light to the world every day she walks through it. Why does she come to this point? What happens?
We all have been at this point at some point/some moment in our lives, and so we can all relate—super-parents and super-people alike. We have all hit rock bottom and needed to ask for help. We have all wondered if we can take another step. We have all had that moment when staying in bed seemed like the best option.
We have all been there, and we’ve all made it through, and moved—HIGHER. It’s my belief, at this point in my journey, that it really doesn’t matter why or how this happens—why or how we get to a place like the one that Joy came to today. What is important, in my opinion, is having the support to move to a different place–and to know that this is part of a process of moving to a higher place.
“When you go low, you are about to go higher.”
I say this a lot in yoga class and to students and clients when they are dealing with a lot of pain and suffering. Both my personal and professional experience has “proven” this to me. Somehow, knowing this helps us to move through the difficult times with grace and a mindfulness, even in suffering. It doesn’t take the pain away, but this “quiet knowing” calms the mind enough to pull us through.
And also knowing that “this too shall pass.”
Pretty simple. But most things are.
Hang in there, Super-moms and Super-people, on those days when it seems that all is lost and you feel you can’t go on. You have it in you, or you wouldn’t be on this site right now, reading these words.
*Not his real name.
**Not her real name.


February 16th, 2010 at 4:25 pm
Thanks for sharing this story Taylor….i can definately relate; ) it can be so hard to reach out and ask for help — it seems like everyone else has the “perfect” life and is a “perfect super mom” — that is why they say “don’t judge your insides to other people’s outsides” we really do not know what others are going through.
i may be rambling, but i just wanted to post that it is so true about when you go through a “dark” time like Joy that you come out the other end stronger, brighter and higher.
i like the sayings “after the darkness comes the dawn” and “when you are going through hell, keep going”…so true!
i recently went through a mama meltdown, and what i learned from it is — i need to take care of myself first in order to be the best mom ever. After 3 yrs of always being with my son, i have decided that he will go to school a few days a week. We were together all the time for financial reasons…day care is $$ as we all know and we have been on our own….i have signed him up for school in total faith that the universe will provide me with the $$ to pay for it, and already my business is increasing!
we as super-moms need to take care of ourselves too. now i can become a bit of the super chick i was before i became a super mom! i can go to yoga class again, socialize, and become more financially independent as my work increases!
my son is also excited for school! he already packed his lunch (2 weeks in advance!), and he will be learning new languages — french and hebrew.
all of these amazing changes for us came because i kept on chugging (like a choo choo train!) through a dark spot and now we are way higher!
things can be astrologically influenced too…but the cosmos clearly wants us to grow.
great subject taylor!
namaste
shanti
February 16th, 2010 at 7:13 pm
This post reminds me of a saying that’s become my mantra during the last six months or so: True endurance doesn’t begin until the moment you find carrying on to be completly unfathomable.
It’s gotten me through some truly, truly difficult days and other days that I found weren’t so difficult if I just took a deep breath and refocused my energy. It was also a motivator during my toughest days of the prana power 31 in 31 challenge last month! It’s just a reminder that there’s always possibilities beyond the darkest place and that when you think you cannot possibly go on, you really can.
February 17th, 2010 at 1:38 pm
You GO Shanti!
School is wonderful for little ones (and for Mama’s as well:)!!!!
Your little guy will make friends, have great experiences, and learn to socialize with his buddies..all while affording you the time for self care! You will make ends meet…sometimes you just have to have faith that you will carry through…and you will!!!!
There is no science to being Mom….and there is no such thing as perfect. I try hard not to ever judge another parent and their choices because you just never knows what lies beneath the surface….people show what they want the world to see…it takes a big person to ask for help and admit that things are not always super great…from those lows you do find out who you truly are!!!!