Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Four months ago a friend of mine from Brown invited a group of us to Cabo for a weekend getaway.
I was thrilled.
The twins would be 11 months old and I could scoot away for a few days easily!
They’d be fine.
So would Madison (13), Sagey (7) and Phoenix (4).
Philippe was a love and said wholeheartedly, “You should go! We’ll be fine. I’ll just hunker down and camp out here with the five kids for the weekend. We’ll have fun!”
He booked my tickets on points that night, and I was ecstatic.
My friends AND a beach!
Amazing.
I’ve never left my five kids. Ever.
This would be big.
Fast-forward two months.
I looked ahead in my ical as I was scheduling a video shoot for Foodforthought.com, and saw CABO in pink (of course) on March 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th.
My stomach dropped.
Dropped.
A feeling of dread filled my body as my heart sank.
Whhhhhhhuuuut?
Stomach dropped?
Dread?
Heart sank?
A reaction like this I did not expect.
“What’s going on?” I asked myself.
“Why the dread? Why the pit in my stomach? What’s the fear?”
Then it hit me––my fear spoke loud and clear, “My twins aren’t going to be ready for me to leave them in 8 weeks . . .they’re still nursing five times a day! How can I leave them? How can they go four days without nursing, and without Mommy?”
When I saw my ex-husband the next day I mentioned my ambivalence about the trip (he knows all of the friends from Brown with whom I was slated to getaway).
“Oh, yeah, reunions like that are hard,” he said, and then he went into a whole thing about how this and that reunion with this and that friend turned out to be a drama because of this and that.”
“No,” I explained, “It’s not that at all. It’s that Dakota and Montana are nursing so much and I’m so blessed to be able to nurse twins so easily and I don’t want to leave them without nursing––and me! –– for four days and I don’t want to lose my breast milk.”
He continued on with more stories about reunions, as though he hadn’t heard a thing I’d said.
Some things never change.
I ruminated about Cabo for a day or so––very unlike me at this point in my life after a lot of yoga and letting go. I usually have clarity quickly and if not, I let it go until the muddy waters settle, as the Tao recommends.
Then I asked the Universe for help, and I did let it go. I set an intention to stop thinking about it, and had faith that the answer would come.
My departure date for Cabo is now three days away.
I have no clarity.
On Saturday I thought I did.
I was talking with two of our servers at Prana Restaurant (eatatprana.com), and one of the servers said, “I don’t have kids, but I think you should go!” while the other, a new Supermom to a three-month-old son, told me she was heartbroken because she’d lost her breast milk while she’d had the flu for five days.
“You’re my divine intervention!” I told her. “I’m not going. I don’t want to lose my breast milk.”
But then that night, as I was falling asleep, my Spirit whispered, “Go. It’ll be OK. The twins will be fine. Face your fear. Dust off that breast pump and make sure it works and oh, buy a bathing suit because Girl, you ain’t got one that fits!”
Well, maybe my Spirit didn’t talk exactly like that, but that was the gist of it.
(I’m a minimalist and have one bathing suit, and it’s the one I wore while pregnant with the twins, so a shopping trip would be necessary if Cabo were in the cards.)
Now if you’ve read my blog, you know that I ALWAYS listen to my Spirit.
Or almost always.
So why not now?
Why no clarity?
I’m not sure, but I will be.
At the perfect time.
That I DO know.








February 28th, 2011 at 8:01 am
Could the alternate post title be “Should I Stay or Should I Pump?” Isn’t it funny how instead of thinking about travel issues or buying flip-flops, you’re wondering if you have all of the pump bottle parts?
Just last month I had to make the “stay or pump” decision and decided to dust off the pump. Iris (9months) is still nursing 5 times a day, so even leaving for the morning seemed like an impossibility. It took a couple of dry runs but I hit the timing right on the third and got enough milk for a two bottles. We used one for a test and had one for the day of.
Iris was totally cool with the bottle, despite warnings that a baby that exclusively breastfed would have trouble. Jeb also loved being able to feed her! I am so glad I did it!
So here’s what we learning from the test: USE FAST FLOW NIPPLES (Level 3 depending on brand). The 2′s don’t cut it
Cheers,
Beth
February 28th, 2011 at 8:10 am
Question to Super-moms:
If you bring a pump with you and pump a couple times while you are away from baby, will that keep the milk supply flowing until back home??
-Beth D
February 28th, 2011 at 2:51 pm
Taylor,
You know that it will work out, whatever you decide. If you stay, it will be fine and you’ll go on another trip another time. If you go, you will be fine and chances are slim that you’ll lose y our milk. Your body is so used to rhythms that as long as you pump some when you get back within a day or so you’ll be back to normal supply. I had to go on a business trip for a couple of days after my jada was born, and I was surprised at how my body just knew what to do when I returned.
February 28th, 2011 at 2:55 pm
You know, I just had an insight. It just struck me that whether it is for work or much needed play, it never FEELS right for a mama to be away from her kids. So waiting till it feels right may not happen. Just decide and know it will be okay.
February 28th, 2011 at 4:36 pm
Taylor,
If you are thinking this much about not going, then don’t go, it is a sign, right? Wait until it feels 100% right.
(As for pumping, you must pump every time you would would feed. So if your baby breastfeeds 5 times a day, then you should pump 5 times a day.)
Good luck,
Stephanie
February 28th, 2011 at 5:20 pm
Hi Beth D, Janine, and Stephanie!
Thanks my Sisters for the support, and 411.
Beth D, I got fast flow nipples last night at Walgreens even before reading your post–just intuition. Thanks Sister for the confirmation. Btw, when Philippe mailed that package to Iris, he absentmindedly took the “wrapping” (the gift bag) out. LOL. Boys!
So I got the nipples and four bottles last night because my Spirit clearly said to get set up so if I do decide to go, it’s all lined up perfectly.
I had NO IDEA which bottles to buy. So in true Super-mom Taylor style, I bought the colorful ones.
Then today I snuck into ISIS Maternity between Super Sports at the Y and Gymnastics at Energy (it’s right down the street from Energy which was great because this Super-mom don’t like bein in the car. What Super-mom does?
I thought I’d grab a few pump attachments that have gone missing in the last 13 years, since I last pumped.
$50 later (helllooowww?!) I had the attachment and the pump n store bottles.
Wow.
Holy rip off!
They were super nice there, though, and I gave them passes to PRANA POWER YOGA and coupons for PRANA Restaurant.
They were psyched.
I also pumped with one side of the pump before Super Sports, just to see if I remembered how, got a lot of milk, and left it for Philippe to try out with the twins while Sagey, Phoenix and I were at their Y and Energy classes.
He mixed my breast milk with coconut water and a little coconut meat–to stretch it–and they chugged it down. Loved it.
Hmmmm….
Namaste!
Taylor plus 5
February 28th, 2011 at 5:24 pm
Hi,
I was still nursing my 10 month old, but decided to take a 4 day trip away to Florida for a little down time. I pumped every 4 hours throughout the day to keep up my milk supply and everything worked out great. The baby was fine with the bottles of breastmilk that I had frozen, and I felt wonderful after some much needed R&R and laughs with my friend. We still talk about how much fun our trip was even though it was a few years ago….memories of a lifetime. And, my now toddler, has no clue that his mommy was gone for 4 days, or that he had to have pumped bottles; I think he enjoyed having his dad feed him for a change. Breastfeeding resumed right back to normal as soon as I came home, no damage to my milk supply.
Good Luck with your decision!
February 28th, 2011 at 6:25 pm
Thanks Nicole!
Wow, what a synchronicity!
A ten-month-old and a four day trip away.
Just like me (x 2 10 month-old babies…well, 11 months old on March 8th).
I really appreciate your story.
I would pump five times a day while in Cabo, as I know that that keeps the milk supply strong.
So there’s your answer, Super-mom Beth.
If you pump as many times as you normally nurse, you’re all set.
I learned that the server at PRANA who lost her milk while she had the flu didn’t pump at all. Poor love felt too sick to pump. That’s why she lost it.
With gratitude and namaste!
Taylor plus 5
March 1st, 2011 at 5:53 pm
feeling exactly the same way right now
only my baby is fourteen months and not nursing anymore, so why such ambivalence, i keep asking myself. my husband won a cruise for he and I back in July to the caribbean for a WEEK, that leaves march 12th. way back when he won it, we said it would be our delayed honeymoon, since we got married in october, but had our first baby the previous december, so sort of for”went” the honeymoon
we were psyched. and it seemed oh so far away. i’m leaving my baby with her grandparents, who i love so much and trust even more, but still i have never left her. not for one night. and now, i’m leaving for seven! i know she’ll be so happy and loved, but it’s going to be so hard to leave. never thought i’d ever say that about a vacation 15 months ago. thank you, taylor for sharing your story. time for me to plug into the higher purpose of this vacation. to connect, recharge, and reset, and of course, to trust.
March 2nd, 2011 at 4:47 am
Such a hard decision, but I’m proud of you for going. My “namaste” advice is that the love is bigger than the nursing. That’s what counts at this point. The twins will be happy and healthy. And the video will ALWAYS be there waiting for you, and will love the energy with which you return!
The universe is never wrong. Have a wonderful time, Taylor!
March 2nd, 2011 at 7:50 pm
Hi Super-mom Amy!
Your words are just perfect.
I can’t say it any “better”:
“Time for you to plug into the higher purpose of your vacation, to connect, recharge and reset, and, of course, to trust.”
Relax and enjoy Sister!
By the way, I decided to go, and I leave tomorrow at 6am.
I’m waking up at four to practice and pump before heading to the airport.
My soul sisters have been tellin’ me that the jitters I’ve been feeling all day and night are “normal.”
That as soon as I get on the plane I’ll feel happy and relaxed.
Here’s hopin’.
Namaste!
Taylor plus 5
March 2nd, 2011 at 7:53 pm
Thanks Super-mom Heather for the “namaste advice.”
Love it!
Yes, you’re right . . . The Universe is never wrong.
So I’m breathing in the light and exhaling the fear (and the jitters), and getting on that plane tomorrow morning.
And Super-people…the video to which Heather is referring is a fun “Making raw food” video that we’re gonna shoot when I get back, for FOODFORTHOUGHT.COM, Heather’s rockin video website and blog. Check it out! She started it with the guy who created THE FOOD NETWORK. Good stuff!
Namaste!
Taylor plus 5
March 3rd, 2011 at 7:06 am
HAVE A BLAST!!!!!!!!!!
WOOHOO!!!
Mommy’s need some R and R too:)
Pump 5 times a day with your longest pump before bed (warm washcloths help aid the let down reflex)…and party hearty!!!
March 4th, 2011 at 11:12 pm
Thanks Supermom Chrissy.
Just finished pumping for the fifth time today–right before bed as you suggested.
So far so good. . . having so much fun with my good friends, missing my kids and Philippe, and feeling so grateful for it all–the time with my friends in a beautiful place and having a life that I love so much that I miss it when I’m in “paradise” with my girlfriends.
Buenos Noches from Mexico!
Namaste!
Taylor plus 5
March 10th, 2011 at 8:25 am
THe first and only
time I left theo for a few days he was around 1. I was still breastfeeding and had never pumped. I went to my friend’s wedding in scotland for a few days, had the best trip ever, and did not pump…..owwwwe! My girls ; ) were hugely engorged and painful. Surprisingly, I did not miss the little guy. I needed that getaway! When I returned, theo ran to me, sat on my lap, and was just admiring my breasts like they were his long lost loves. Seriously, it was hilarious, he was just gazing at them and laughing, like that was what he missed most! So cute.