Freedom
Joy and freedom are interlinked. In order to have joy we must have freedom, and when we have freedom, we are joyful.
Yoga teaches us that we always have a choice. That we are free. In any situation, we always have a choice—even if we feel we’re stuck, imprisoned, etc., we are not. We can choose otherwise.
I loved my ex-husband dearly and will always love him, as he was my first true love, we were together for 18 years, and created a beautiful child together, whom we co-parent.
But we were and are as different as different can be. I always thought “love was enough,” but learned differently, as I slowly began to feel my freedom slipping away. It was insidious though, and so I couldn’t place my finger on the malaise that was consuming me.
Then I found yoga, remembered who I was and why I am on this planet, and found freedom—and joy—again. I did have a choice, in every moment, about all things in my life—and most importantly, about which thought I would focus on.
Little children are totally free. Watch them!! They are free with their love, their anger, their fear—their entire being exudes freedom. They are free to be themselves, be honest, ask if they don’t know, cry if they feel like it, and lie down on the hard wood floor in the kitchen and go to sleep amongst a big party if the mood so strikes them. They are confident in whom they are and they love who they are—poopy diaper, bald head and all.
When does this shift? When do we begin to fear being wrong, not knowing the answer, showing our emotions, showing our true self? When does our freedom—our birthright—begin to slip away?
We just finished the final weekend of our Prana Power Yoga 2008 Teacher Training, and we talked a lot about joy—and freedom—during our 200 hours together.
Students talked about a moment in their childhood when they recall that self-confidence, that freedom, that joy slipping away.
And we talked about the beauty of beginning again—that with awareness (as you now have after reading this), we can make the choice to begin again and regain our freedom—and our joy.
It’s your birthright, Sistah, so start now.








August 25th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
AWESOME!!!
It is so nice to hear true honesty, the reality of being yourself, and the fondness that you clearly still hold for your ex husband, even though your lives have taken different routes. I believe in fate, and know that our children are all a result of it.
‘She would not be she without he’, rings so true, doesn’t it!? It takes all of the BEST things from both Mommy and Daddy to make these great kiddos!
August 26th, 2008 at 3:41 am
Thanks Super-mom Chrissy.
Madison does feel that her dad and I still care about each other and always will, even though our “outer circumstances” don’t look the same as they did when she was a baby. She tells me so!!
She says now and then, after observing other people who’ve split up and people who are still married but not connected at all: “Mom, I can tell that you and dad like each other and get along, and it’s so nice. It’s so uncomfortable to be around people when they don’t get along or like each other–you can just feel the bad energy.”
And I tell her, again and again, “outer circumstances” don’t matter–it’s what’s inside (our hearts) that counts.
Have the best day ever!!
Namaste!!
Taylor
August 26th, 2008 at 6:25 am
Exactly….
I cannot tell you, how many times people have said to Dave and I, “you guys seem like you still like each other”, and they are surprised!!!!! It is so funny….it is almost as though because we are young, with a long standing marriage, we should be at each other’s throats. Of course there are times when people disagree or have differences , but we talk, we work it out, we move on and we remember why we got married in the first place. Our kids are now at the ages where they roll their eyes when Dave chases me around the house, but are fully aware that they are in a house full of love.
I never got how people can “hate” the fathers of their children…and boy I am sure that ther are many reasons that people could have to do just that. I have a very good friend, who left the horribly abusive father of her children, raised her girls on her own, and struggled financially for years, and never did she use the “H” word. She said that he would someday get what the universe had in store for him, and that she had no say in what that would be. Talk about going on with her bad self!!!!!!
August 26th, 2008 at 9:22 am
Great article Taylor!
Begining again, joy, freedom all sound so wonderful to me. I am so glad I am in a place to hear/see/feel/experience what that all means and not roll my eyes and think/say “ya right! not for me!”
Madison is truly blessed to have parents who can work together and be happy even though they are no longer ‘together.’ This is a huge gift you and your ex are giving her.
And Chrissy, thank you for sharing ~ sometimes I forget to share the joy and freedom with my husband ~ he tends to get the worst of me which is not always fair. The thought of you guys working together made me so appreciative of John. He is a great husband and amazing father ~ and cute too!
Thanks ladies!
Love,
Adrienne
August 26th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Hi from Nantucket Chrissy,
Your friend is most definitely going on with her bad self by taking the “high road” so to speak regarding her abusive ex-husband.
It is incredibly challenging, no doubt, for her to do so at times; however, I honestly believe that if you can swing it, sending light to those who are unkind, abusive, or just plain annoying is the way to go.
Ironically, when we hold anger and/or resentment about a person or a situation, we only magnetize more bad things to ourselves. We are energy magnets!! Whatever we put out, comes right back–again and again.
As I know that you know well!!
Have the best day ever!!
Namaste!!
Taylor
August 26th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Hi Supermom Adrienne,
I’m glad you liked the article. When we were on the ferry coming over to Nantucket this morning I saw a Supermom in action with her 10 month old daughter, and so I asked her husband to type SUPER-MOM.COM into his laptop.
She read the article and we talked about my intention for Super-mom.com, and hearing your response pretty much sums it up: inspiration, connection, and support.
I love so much the honesty and love with which you write.
So rock on Super-mom and go give John a big hug.
Namaste!!
Taylor
August 26th, 2008 at 7:18 pm
Oh my goodness…no problem Adrienne! Believe me, Dave, too gets the grump from time to time, (mostly hormonal), and has rolled so well with the punches! He is a trooper but I have to say that we bounce well off of one another. It takes your great qualities to make your life with your hubby work, as well because we all have our little “things”.Those things may make our life a little more challenging at times for us and for others (helooo, like me crying when Dave brought me a peppermint patty instead of Junior Mints when I was pregnant, and told me that they were the same), but they make us…well us! Of course we all forget sometimes…we are human and have emotions. Sometimes it is hard to be mindful all of the time, especially when life gets hectic, hormonal or just plain crazy!
And Taylor, boy do I agree about sending light to others even though they can drive you nuts….( you know that there will be light flying out of me on our family vacation Sistah ! LOL) If you always bring about a positive, then it is super hard to dwell on negativity and drama. Whenever I hear one of my friends, or my sister, or ANYONE complaining about their partner to me, I always say something positive about them to try to remind whomever is complaining of just what they have. If what they have is not right for them, well being there is their choice, so either improve or move on kindly with grace and care!
August 28th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
I totally agree Super-mom Chrissy.
Wise words from a wise woman.
I smiled when I read the peppermint patty/junior mint incident…
Some things just AREN’T the same.. LOL!!
Have the best day ever!!
Namaste!!
Taylor