Empty
Tonight Dakota and Montana are sleeping in their own room.
*Sigh.*
Their room is right next to ours, but nevertheless, it’s not OUR room.
They are four months old, and it’s time.
My sister and nephews just left after visiting from Santa Fe, and she was sleeping in “their” room while they visited.
My Spirit whispered to me last night “It’s time. When they leave, the twins will move into their own room.”
It was fun today to move the crib, the two swings, the two bouncy chairs, the gymini, and the rocking chair from our room to theirs… to organize it all so it looked nice. To feel the fun shift in energy that always comes with change.
It was amazing—WOW—to see our room back to “our” room.
Very little furniture.
Very Zen.
Very minimalist.
I felt energized and excited.
Until tonight.
When I watched my twin baby sons sleeping just now in their big boy room, and then walked into our clean, clear, and Zen room, one word came to mind: EMPTY.
E-M-P-T-Y.
Our room no longer felt Zen, minimalist, and calm.
It felt empty.
How could this be?
I love to have very few things around.
I love having one pair of jeans, one pair of shoes, one cutting board, one big sharp knife for chopping.
So why “empty?”
My mind—the suffering mind—fast forwarded…”Is this how we’ll feel when they’ve grown up—all of our five beautiful children–and moved out?
Empty?
Is this a harbinger of things to come? A metaphor?
The once Zen, and now “empty” bedroom?
I don’t know, Super-people.
The lesson is still to come.
It’s a full moon tomorrow, which may account for some of the suffering mind’s contributions to this balmy summer night in 2010.
So again, as I do so often in my life, I ask The Universe, “What’s the lesson here? What do I need to learn? What do I need to do differently?”
And I wait.
Patiently.


August 16th, 2010 at 11:51 am
So strange Taylor that you posted this article this week. I enjoyed very much reading your article as I myself asked the same question. What will I do with myself after my little ones grow and go to the journey of the world and the plan ahead for them. I find myself sitting in silence a lot questioning the universe the same thing?! I then come back and remember a quote you left a couple of times which was said by Dr Seuss “dont be sad it’s over smile because it happen”. We all I guess have to push on and remember how magical life is with your little ones home with you. Lot of love Taylor and let me know if you have any answers to your question!!
August 16th, 2010 at 4:36 pm
Hi Supermom Sonneva,
Great to hear from you Sister.
I saw a dear friend and student at PRANA NEWTON this morning and she said, “Taylor, I read your article this morning about ‘life goes on,’ and really liked it.”
This friend has two grown daughters, by the way, and I liked the way she synopsized it: simply, “life goes on.”
Yes, it does, Super-people, so always remember that THIS IS IT. This is the only moment that matters.
The past is over so forgive yourself and others, and know that you and they did the best that you and they could in the moment.
Stay present to the joy available to you in this moment–no matter what flavor. There is joy and love and learning and gratitude in every moment–even the challenging ones…no, especially the challenging ones–if we are aware and open to see it (and a great way to stay open and aware is…yoga.
.
Our job is to RELAX, APPRECIATE, AND ENJOY.
And paddle downstream.
Allowing instead of resisting, whatever comes our way on our path.
Namaste!
Taylor plus 5
August 16th, 2010 at 8:24 pm
Taylor,
I feel your “empty” feeling too. I remember when I heard the Spriit tell me to move my twin girls into their room, they were 1, but I still felt the “empty” feeling. Sometimes, in life, as a parent, it is just not easy, just does not always feel “full”, but empty is a feeling that we will feel when our kids grow up. In my world, my job it to raise great kids, so to feel empty when they feel full of independence is me doing my job correctly.
Deep breath.
Stephanie
August 16th, 2010 at 8:24 pm
I don’t know what to say; I don’t have any kids yet. However, every time I am at a loss for words to express my emotions, you seem to do so in such a beautiful way. One of my favorite expressions is, “The Universe Provides.” I couldn’t agree more. My life is better for knowing you and Philippe:-) Lots of love to your family!
Namaste,
Tracey
August 17th, 2010 at 10:41 am
If you have given your children full and fabulous access to you throughout childhood your job will be done, and both of you will know it, and both parent and child will be ready for the next stage. Children are on loan from the universe and you must send them back into the universe with joy and love, confident that they will be fabulous at what they choose. By this time you will have reached a lovely stage of calm and can enjoy more reflective pursuits. It is all great when you catch each and every wave and go with it…Love Emer
August 19th, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Hi Taylor!
So happy for you and the twins! I know what you mean about the EMPTY- but we are taking my oldest to college tomorrow, and it’s the other end of your empty. All of these 18 years I semi-dreaded this day, thinking that it would feel EMPTY. However, it is the most exciting, exhilarating time, and the opposite of what I had feared. Fulfillment of all the hard work, the moment by moment “am I doing the right thing” thinking… Just thought you might want to know! Lots of love-Martha
August 20th, 2010 at 5:16 pm
Thanks so much Super-people for all of your love and wisdom.
It’s so funny, because when I was reading the posts and the many emails and Facebook messages I got about this article, people were being so sweet and soothing, and comforting me, and I was like “Huh?” because I’ve so let it go, and moved on.
LOL!
That’s what yoga does for you.
I felt the feeling, wrote about it, and let it go.
Immediately and completely.
So it’s almost like “I wrote what?”
So now I’m on a new vibration with the twins in their own room. I’m down with it and happy about it and it’s just not an issue.
And when they grow out of an outfit, I’m thrilled, because they are growing and thriving!
When my sister’s 3 kids were small, sheMy used to tell me about how she’d cry every time they grew out of something.
I’ve always rejoiced when my kids grow out of an outfit because it means that I am doing my “Super-mom job”—they are growing and thriving.
So thanks again for all the love and I’m happy to say, it’s all good!
Namaste!
Taylor plus 5