“Love is letting go of fear”
“Love is letting go of fear”
“One who is connected to the stream is more powerful and efficient and productive than millions who are not.”
What are you afraid of?
What scares you most?
How does the fear feel? In your body? Your mind? Your heart?
What quells the fear, if anything?
When I was little, I was afraid of my parents and some other not-so-nice authority figures in my young life.
I learned to fear water because of some not-so-nice experiences in and with it, learned to fear dogs for the same reason.
But I kept going back to my spirit—which told me that there was nothing to fear–that I was not like those who I feared and that I could surpass any fear, person, and situation, and find joy and inner peace.
I was afraid of losing—both on the skating rink and on the tennis court.
I was afraid of getting a B.
I was afraid of touching my toes because of my “bad back” (commencing at age 11—oh my!) and of disappointing my parents in any way, shape, or form.
I didn’t come into life with these fears. They were taught to me.
But again and again, I kept going back to my center—to my spirit—and remembering who I was. Again and I again, I said with intention and determination “I will find joy.”
When I was 14 my best friend was addicted to the soap opera “General Hospital.” I heard through a friend of a friend when and where one of the characters was getting married (in real life), and I crashed the wedding, with my best friend in tow. We hung out with that General Hospital cast—fearless–munching apps and coming up with various answers to the question “Now, how do you know the bride/groom?”
A triumph not only for my best friend, but also for myself. I faced my fear. And it felt good.
Last week I taught myself to swim freestyle. I watched in awe as one of my friends swam it effortlessly and gracefully—back and forth, back and forth—and was inspired.
I love to be inspired. What a great feeling!
Inspiration is a taste of the PURE POTENTIAL that you are.
I set my intention, donned my 11-year-old’s goggles, and set to the water.
100 laps/day, three days later, I was swimming the crawl. Not as gracefully as my friend—not yet—but I could make it one whole lap. My goal!
Now swimming is fun and I can’t get enough. This morning Philippe and I swam to the other side of Crystal Lake—and back. 30 minutes straight of swimming and with no wall to cling on to out of fear. Now THAT felt good.
So what am I saying? That I’m the best ever because I’ve faced a lot of fear–and then some–and let it all go?
Not at all.
What I’m saying is that we all have fears. It’s human nature. Whether we walked into this world with them, they were self taught, or taught to us by others, they’re there, Sister.
The question is, are you going to walk around with them, day after day? Are you going to carry that load?
Boy do I know.
Facing fear frees us. It ignites our life force—our PRANA. With every fear I face and let go of, I get a little lighter, a little happier, and a little more fun. It’s fun to be fun, and to have fun. Fun is where it’s at. And the amazing and great thing is that thanks to THE LAW OF ATTRACTION (Abraham-hicks.com), the more fun you have, the more wonderful things you magnetize into your life.
How’s that for incentive?
When my 11-year-old was in Kindergarten, she was asked to describe her Mom (and Dad) in three words. Her words for her Dad were: “He likes pizza.” : ) Her words for me were: “Fun, fun, fun.”
A better compliment I could not ask for.
So what are you afraid of? And what can you do about it—today?
Supermom Laura Rich:
I’m the single mother of 12 year old twin girls and a 10 year old boy. Other than some minor stress this weekend when my son changed the language on my iPod to German and my daughter went to lacrosse practice without her mouth guard, I can’t say they give me much trouble. I’d love to regal you with stories of a single mom dating on Match.com or try to impress you with the amount of chaos I endure single handedly on the home front, but I’m not really all that unusual or impressive.
More important are the 2000 kids that I take care as a pediatrician. Frequently now they’re coming with a new type of mother. She’s bright and takes her role as mother very seriously. She does not want to be told what to do with her children. She does her own research and makes her own decisions regarding her children’s health from the information she gathers. I respect this about these bright women.
Unfortunately these women fall in to a generation that has the Internet but has never been taught how to use it wisely. My 6th grade daughters are currently learning how to separate anecdotal evidence from scientific evidence. They’re learning that the experience of a few vocal individuals cannot be equated to the experience of thousands in scientific studies. But the mothers who bring their children to me were never taught this. It’s a generational difference. They may take anti-immunization advice from mothering blog sites and see it as more
worthwhile than CDC recommendations based on enormous safety studies over decades. Or they may try to treat ADHD with dietary change just because some other cool moms are doing it. There has never been any evidence that dietary adjustment has any effect on ADHD. Why are these smart moms making these kinds of decisions?
My only conclusion is that it must be an issue of power. These moms must feel that the medical profession has taken away their decision making and they want it back. It’s understandable. I just wish they could feel empowered by decisions that are more sound because they embrace science. Anecdotal evidence from blogs is a scary way to make major health decisions. Meningitis could leave a child mentally retarded or dead. Even “spacing out” the vaccines is leaving the child more vulnerable. It’s inferior protection. I can’t think of a single good reason to do it.
I worry about the unimmunized child who will get meningitis and I worry about the guilt that mother will live with. My worries over my own children are trivial. I can switch the language on my iPod back to English (I think) and I can rush my daughter’s mouth guard over to the lacrosse field, but I can never fix the brain damage on a child with meningitis. I can’t bring that baby back. I wish that we could have it all: mothers not bullied by the medical profession, smart decisions that embrace science, and moms whose worries can be as trivial as mine.
A lot of people ask me how I can honestly have the best day ever, every day. I received this most recently from a Super-mom.com reader:
“Hi Taylor– I love your blog, and look forward to reading it every “Mumday”…my word for my day off from work spent with my daughter. I am curious about your path to this bright shiny lightness that you seem to radiate, and I would love if you would share some of this in your blog/posts. In general I am a happy person, but I would love to radiate more light more often. I think I speak for many out here who may not be ready to ask, but how do you honestly and truly have “the best day ever” every day? I guess I just don’t fully understand that. I understand that there is a choice with every situation with which we are faced in how we react to that situation. Do you have any tips for us on how to make a practice of making the brighter choice every time? And how to make every day– even those when we don’t feel great, when our patience isn’t at its strongest, etc.– the best day ever? Thanks!”
I am happy to share what I personally do to have the best day every day, but only after a brief disclaimer. I was never a fan of disclaimers–until I launched my blog on Mother’s Day, 2008, and noticed that no matter how many times I said “This is just my opinion/my path/what works for me—take what you want and leave the rest…I am not saying this is what you should do or that what you’re doing is “wrong,” because there is no “wrong.” I am not perfect nor would I ever profess to be, etc.” there would always be a reader who would tell me how my way wasn’t the only way and why was I suggesting that it was, and give me a list of why they couldn’t do what I suggested, etc.
So I would state, again, the intention of my website and blog and offer them—again—to take what they want and leave the rest and find their own path. I would remind them—again—that one of my strongest messages on Super-mom.com is to find what works for you and brings you joy and follow that—no matter what anyone else says. To always follow your heart, and you will always be on the right path.
So what follows is a formula that works for me, and has transformed my life in more ways than I can describe. This doesn’t mean that this formula will work for you (although it just might), or that I am asking you to try it. All I ever suggest is that you follow your heart and do what feels right to you. I’m just putting this out there because many people ask, and it has worked for me. So I’m sharing it with you in an open forum of Super-people who are supporting each other’s diverse lives and choices. There is no right or wrong and there is no perfect. That’s what rocks about The Universe.
Now on to the fun part. I’ve personally found that three basic components/tools are the key to me having the best day ever everyday:
1. Prana Power Yoga
2. Raw Vegan Foods
3. Deliberate Creation
“But how,” you ask, “can you do all of these daily? With all due respect, life is busy enough, I don’t need to add more to my plate, Supermom.”
And oh do I hear you Sister. Loud and clear.
But what I suggest (you may want to reread the “disclaimer” above now) is that I don’t have time not to do these three things daily. The time and energy that I put in comes back to me, in spades. In spades! Setting my intention and committing to these tools shifts my day, every day, pointing me in the right direction on my path. They are the key to flowing with life, trying easy, finding joy, being super efficient and focused, and having the best day ever everyday–no matter what the circumstances. No matter what the circumstances.
And oh, Super-people, just watch how “the circumstances” shift/change.
So let’s take it one component/tool at a time, and remember, you don’t have to spend hours on these components/tools every day…intention and consistency is everything. It’s what you do most of the time that matters. There are going to be days that flow well and days that don’t. So do what you can and start where you are. It’s about being real and doing your best, with breath.
Component/tool 1: Prana Power Yoga
Do you find it too challenging to get to a yoga studio daily or 5 times a week to practice? I hear ya. And I have the solution. Roll out your mat next to your bed before you go to sleep. Wake up a few minutes earlier (yes only minutes) and immediately get on your mat. Immediately! Don’t start with your daily routines because then it’s all over. I’ve been there.
Even just doing a rag doll and a downward dog for a few minutes with breath and intention will shift your day and move you toward the best day ever.
Beware though—you may end up practicing longer than you’d expected/planned because it feels so good, and just flows.
“But Taylor,” you say, “There’s so much going on in my life and things come up and—life happens. I just can’t get to it. I’ve tried and I just can’t.”
I get this Super-mom. I’m all about real life and making things (yoga, raw food, and deliberate creation) accessible. Everyone can do this. Everyone.
Yesterday I practiced in the pitch black in my bedroom while my two-year-old slept in our bed wheezing with croup and a fever, and 2 humidifiers and the shower filled the room with steam to ease his breathing, poor love.
The day before I practiced on the carpet in our playroom while my 2 year-old and 5 year-old watched Elmo on a projector on the wall (we don’t have TV and croup and a fever call for drastic measures—lol) and my 2 year-old asked me for “d’eau d’eau” (water) every four minutes or so.
These are just two of a myriad of examples of practices that did not look like the cover of “Yoga Journal” (although they should—Yoga Journal should get real and put some photos of real life yoga on their covers).
My husband and I purposefully put photos on our website of us practicing with our kids running about and around us. We had a photo shoot and our kids were with us, as always, and the photographer asked me if he should crop the kids out of the photos and I said “No way! That’s what our practice looks like at home and it’s real. Keep ‘em in.”
Component/tool 2: Raw Vegan Foods
Do you find it scary and unappealing to eat healthfully? Do you feel restricted even reading the words raw vegan? Can you even pronounce vegan? (LOL. It’s “vee-gun.”).
I hear ya Sister.
Again, it’s not about being perfect. And it’s definitely not about restriction. Restriction doesn’t work and is no fun. And if you’re going to have the best day ever every day, it’s all about fun (and ironically, you become even more effective and efficient when you’re having fun).
It’s about intention and doing your best with breath, as is Prana Power Yoga. It’s all connected. And that makes it easier. It all flows together.
So you set your intention: I want to have the best day ever everyday. You start where you are and begin to add in Superfoods—the best foods ever—to energize you and make you feel great. They also help you lose weight, if that’s one of your intentions.
I’m not going to get into the all of the details of how to add more living foods and Superfoods into your life because there is so much information on this topic. There’s a lot written on my site if you check out the Super Foods section, and I also list some good websites to check out if you choose to do some more research.
I can, however, give you a few fun examples of when I’ve stayed raw in the most unlikely places and situations—so you can have a good laugh, and when you’re in a similar situation, get imaginative.
I’ve been to Disneyworld several times since we went raw five years ago and managed to stay raw the whole time I’m in the Magic Kingdom, and have the best time ever. We pack our juicer, find a Wholefoods in Orlando (which rocks, btw, and has a huge array of pre-packaged raw foods from Glaser Farms out of Miami), and have lunch a few times at (and take out food from) a great Raw Food Restaurant in Orlando called Café 118. If you’re ever in Orlando, check it out, and definitely order the portobello lasagna and s’mores for dessert. Mmmmmmagic Kingdom!
We spent a week in Paris when Phoenix (our 2 year-old) was 5 months old and I managed to stay raw—with ease, in fact. I packed some dehydrated breads and crackers, our juicer, and some nuts and seeds and then ate lots of fresh fruit (readily available) and ordered big salads in cafés—sometimes 3 at one meal, much to the Parisian waiter’s surprise—and asked them in my broken French to please add lots of avocado to each salad.
Now on to the final component/tool—of the three components/tools that help me to have the best day ever everyday:
Component/tool 3: Deliberate Creation
Deliberate Creation, put simply, means that giving thought to anything is creation and giving deliberate thought to anything is deliberate creation, using the “law of attraction” (see Abraham-hicks.com for more info). The underlying principle here is that our thoughts and our words create our reality. Whatever I give attention to—wanted or unwanted—I am creating. The life I live is created by the story I tell. I enjoy with my action what I created with my thought–I don’t create with my action, but with my thought. So taking all of these principles into account, I have learned to relax and let the law of attraction do the organization and the managing, and then I spend my time doing the things that I love.
Does this mean I lie around all day and do nothing? Not at all. I believe in massive action–but it’s all things that I love, and so none of it feels like “work.” And it all flows beautifully and easily.
Sound too good to be true? It’s not Sister. It has taken time and practice to get to this place of loving everything that I do and everyone in my life and (just about) all of the situations I draw into my life. It takes time and practice, but the practice is fun. And the practice continues—day to day.
I believe that in any situation, I always have a choice. I have a choice on what to focus my mind. So it’s all about the power of the focus of my mind.
Let’s face it, in any situation, you can focus on the stuff that’s great or the stuff that’s not. Some call this denial. I call it focusing on what I want to see, and thereby creating the future that I want.
Believe me, I spent years of my life doing otherwise. I spent years of my life angry, afraid, and talking and writing about it—a lot. This Super-mom can talk!
What I learned during those times was that whatever I put out—came back to me, in spades. In spades! This was not a good thing at the time—taking into account what I was putting out into the Universe.
Now there are times when we need to grieve and mourn (for example, after losing a baby, as I did on May 5, 2009—please see “The Loss” in the archives) and the only way out is through.
But there are also many times when we have a choice on what to focus—on what to talk about—on what to think about.
Today I took my 11 year-old daughter to a café in our neighborhood for a surprise breakfast before school. The tables were very close in the café and so we couldn’t help but hear the women’s conversation sitting at the table next to us. They were going on and on about very negative things. Some call it gossip. The energy/aura from that table was quite dark. Even my 11 year-old felt it.
And this was their “fun time”–their “girl time” together. What were they creating by saying this about that friend and that about this child? What kind of day were they setting up for themselves? How would their hearts feel after they finished that mochachino?
It took me awhile to learn not to gossip. And even longer for my friends to get used to me not joining in. I still occasionally get drawn into the practice of gossip, but feel the results immediately after doing so and it’s yet another reminder to stay on my path.
Remember, no one is perfect (least of all me) and it’s what we do most of the time that matters. We all stumble and/or fall at times–and we learn to be gentle with ourselves, to get up, and try again. The Universe will always give us contrast—to show us what it is that we don’t want in our lives, so that we can create what we do want.
So how do I stay on the path of positive thinking/manifesting in a world that can be super negative?
It’s all about choices. I chose to give up watching TV 12 years ago and I’ve never looked back. I do watch movies occasionally, but I’m super choosy about what they are about and what they focus on. Not watching TV really helped me to decrease the amount of negative messages infiltrating my brain (many unconsciously).
I choose to write down quotes that I love—uplifting, positive quotes that I read, hear, or come up with myself—and read them as often as possible. They are all over my house! At my computer, on my kitchen counter tops, next to my toothbrush, and in front of my yoga mat when I practice at home. Whenever and wherever possible I am putting positive messages into my brain.
I am always watching my mind and training it. Much like I trained my body to hit a tennis ball 30 years ago at Nick Bollettieri’s Tennis Academy. It just takes practice.
So that’s what I do. Practice. Every day. All day. Using the three tools that I’ve described.
And truth be told, it’s way more fun to practice having the best day ever than to practice hitting backhands.
**If you’d like to learn more about how to create the best life ever and have the best day ever everyday, Super-mom Taylor is available for consultation. Please contact Michael@pranapoweryoga.com to set up an appointment.**
Super-Mom Betsy Parsons:
I expected motherhood to change me. How could it not? Everything was new. But what I didn’t expect was that motherhood would strip me bare – drop me to rock bottom – force me to face that I had lost myself – demand that I pick up the shattered bits of me and piece myself back together. It was all at once brutal and gratifying. I am grateful for all of it. I have learned who I am and how great my support system is. I learned how absolutely wonderful my husband is, what a fantastic dad he is, and what a loving and supportive family surround us. It’s not just me who is a super mom. It’s my husband, my mom and dad, and my mother and father-in-law who make up this super family. Each one of us plays an important role. Life is a tremendous gift, and we were all starkly reminded of that during the first six weeks of my daughter’s life. We almost lost her. The first six weeks of her life were spent in the NICU. She was a full term baby but a very sick one. After she came home, every milestone was carefully watched. She thrived. And I almost missed it because I was worried about what could be wrong. It was 9 months later when I started to splinter apart. She was walking and I was cracking – emotions needed to be expressed. I needed to feel again. Not surprising, but I hadn’t been taking care of myself. I was just trying to make it through a minute, then an hour, and a full day. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I wasn’t sleeping well. I was sleepwalking. I rationalized that all of this was well within a first-time mom response (ha!). Eventually, I was diagnosed with PTSD and got help. I began to piece myself back together. It took another full year for me to hear the stirrings of my voice. It’s been over two years, and just recently I realized that I am whole again. I experienced such joy in finding myself. I had really missed me! But losing myself and finding an improved version had taken hold – makes me so grateful for the journey. It has allowed me freedom to be myself, to slow down and enjoy the moments of motherhood, to rely on my family to play significant roles raising my daughter, to trust, and to embrace the unexpected. It’s often what I need most! I’m so thankful for my super family – including my husband who is embracing his role as stay-at-home dad! Collectively, we’re a super team with a super daughter.