The photo from the first Prana Power Yoga Holiday card we sent out.

It’s that time of year again…holiday card time.

This year it’s gonna be different for us.  After all of the wisdom I’ve gleaned over the past six or so months.

I learned a lot by owning and selling a restaurant.  One thing I learned was that it’s really best to speak your mind because either people are going to like you, or they’re not.  It’s just that simple.  If you try to please everyone, #1 You won’t, it’s impossible, #2  You won’t feel balanced, and #3 You won’t, it’s impossible. 

For the last several years we sent Holiday cards to family, friends, and our Prana Power Yoga teachers, Studio Coordinators and Volunteers, and students—those who had given us their snail mail addresses (a small percentage of the total number of students who come one of the five Pranas).  Then after opening the restaurant, we sent Holiday cards to our restaurant staff and customers—again, those who had given us their snail mail addresses—a small percentage of the total number of people.  But those numbers added up and we sent out A LOT of Holiday cards.  Shutterfly loved us!  Let’s just say we got a discount because we ordered so many. 

The problem was, people who DIDN’T receive a card from Prana Power Yoga or the restaurant and heard that others did (only because we didn’t have their snail mail address), well, they got upset.  One server from our restaurant wrote me an angry email about it.  This of course had nothing to do with us not wanting to send the server a Holiday card; it had to do with his address not being on “the list,” which had nothing to do with Philippe and me.

So although our intention was to make people happy with a card, since it was impossible to make sure everyone received one because it was up to them to provide a snail mail address and very few people do that anymore…it ended up making some people hurt or angry.  Or both.  Not at all our intention!

So this year, we are only sending Holiday cards to very close friends and family.  Keeping it real simple.  Shutterfly will be bummed, but a lot of other people won’t be.

The lesson?  Dr. Suess said it well, “The people who matter don’t mind and the people who mind don’t matter.”

Please read Part 1 from last Monday before you read this.

So there’s discipline and there’s focus and there’s goals.

And then there’s expectations.

The difference is similar, I believe, to the difference between motivation and inspiration.  It can be subtle.  It’s energetic.  But so so important.

A wise teacher once told me, “Motivation the ability to force yourself to act.  Inspiration is the impulse to act.”

To be “inspired” means, quite literally, to be “in spirit,” or “with your spirit.”

So when you are inspired, you are “in the flow.”  Life flows through you and for you. Things don’t happen “to” you, things happen “for” you.

I used to live my live fueled mostly by motivation, and girl, that ain’t no way to live.

You’d never have known by looking at my resume.  I had “it all.”  The degrees, the accolades, the Ivy Leagues—you name it!  It was “mine.”  What was missing?

Joy. Love. Grace.  Freedom.  Inspiration.

My mind was checking everything off my list—one by one, my body was aching with pain from this or that ailment or illness, and my Spirit was suffocating.  Even my relationship with my partner at the time reflected this stagnant energy.

Then one day it all came to a screeching halt.  What opened my eyes?  My yoga practice.

As I breathed in and breathed out, moved through the poses passed down for over 5 centuries, and began to let go, my Spirit began to speak—and once it began, there was no stoppin’ it Sister.

Things began to fall away naturally—toxic things that didn’t belong in my life and weren’t serving me.  Friendships that had long ended moved on and new friendships brimming with joy and love and promise began.  Clothes found their way into bags to be given to charity.  Various “things” in my home that weren’t me and cluttered my mind and my life found other homes.  Even my body changed—effortlessly and quickly.

With every single practice, I became lighter–body and mind–and I began to feel joy and peace.  Peace!  I had had no idea what this was at the time. No idea.

Back in the day, I recall my therapist asked me to visualize a place that I felt “peaceful,” and this caused me even more anxiety as I attempted to figure out what she “wanted” me to say, because I had no idea what that would be or even look like.  Let’s just say peace wasn’t my every step—or any of my steps. 

I was a “doer,” and do I did; however, peace and joy were not part of the package.
So yes, I was “motivated”—motivated by fear, really.  Fear of not being enough.  Motivated by EXPECTATIONS.  Of others, yes, but more importantly, my own.  Fear of the anxiety that would pervade me if I weren’t always doing something, achieving something, moving “forward”—whatever that meant.

But now, after committing to a regular yoga practice, I have found inspiration and let go of expectations.  And this is a whole different way to live, thank The Universe.

Being inspired means following your intuition—what feels right?  Instead of being glued to that list of things to do and EXPECTING to get them done, listening to what your heart wants to do right now.  This takes courage.  And your yoga practice will give you the courage.

By breathing away fear on your mat regularly, you open up/create the space for anything that you want.  You create the potential—your pure potential—which has always been there…it’s just been hiding behind fear.

“Motivation,” admired by so many, is actually fueled by fear.  So yes, you’ll “go far” fueled by motivation; but only so far, and there will be relatively little joy and peace, if any.

Inspiration, on the other hand, is the gateway to pure potentiality.  You can literally be, do, and have anything that you want.  If you follow your Spirit, follow your heart, and believe.

So when people ask me, “How do you DO all that you do with 5 kids?” I tell them that it’s easy, if I do my daily yoga practice and live by these 11 words:  Only do what your Spirit loves and let go of expectations.

Because when you only do what your Spirit loves, you are inspired (in-spirit), and your main vibration is joy and appreciation—and from there, anything and everything is possible, the “pressure of time” slips away, everything lines up easily, you are always at the right place at the right time meeting the right people and being offered the right opportunities, and everything feels and is easy.

Why?  Because it’s all about vibration, Sisters.  What you put out comes back to you—always.  This is The Law of Attraction.

If what I’m saying is resonating with you but you just don’t know how to get started on this path, write the following quotes on note cards and read them daily:

*Only do what your Spirit loves.

*Have faith.

*Breathe.

*Try easy.  Everything is easy for me.

*Respect your path.

*If you weren’t afraid, what would you do?

*Hold your vision.  See it!  And trust the process.

*My main vibration is appreciation.

*To avoid criticism:  say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.

*Think out of the box.

*Relax and let the Law of Attraction do the organization, the managing, and then you spend your time doing the things that please you.

*I’m creating the essence of whatever I’m thinking.

*Focus:  where will you expend your energy, time, and talent?

*Being overwhelmed is about you not being up to speed with what you told the Universe that you want.

*Clear your aura.  Simplify.

*Paddle downstream.

*At the moment of commitment, The Universe conspires to assist you.

*It should be easy and flow.  It should flow beautifully and easily.

*Relax and have fun.

*My job is to relax, appreciate and enjoy.

Two readers posted these comments:

“Taylor, 
I read your blog post this morning (called “Expectations”) at a time when I was feeling bad that I didn’t get as far in my Tax homework as I would have liked. After reading your post, I looked at my calendar. It is filled with expectations. I contemplated deleting the daily requirements for myself to finish this section of work or that, but held off. I then spoke with a friend over lunch, as something about all this was just irking me and I couldn’t figure out what it was. 
My friend listened to me recount your post and to my subsequent reaction. She then went on to say, “While that is all well and good, there is a flip side.” She told me about how she and her sister had set a goal to run a 10k at an 8min/mile pace. To do so, they had to train over the winter, which was really tough. But, they did it! They achieved their goal and my friend said it felt amazing. I’ve experienced a similar feeling when I completed a bike marathon a few years back. Today, I continuously strive for that satisfying sentiment. It feels so good to set a goal and accomplish it. No matter how big or small. 
So, I just think that it is important to highlight the tension between expectations and goals. I’m not sure I know exactly where the line is and would love to hear your thoughts on the distinction. In any event, I just hope that readers identify whether they have an expectations or a goal. If someone discards the latter unwittingly, they may forgo the opportunity for well-deserved satisfaction in an attempt to evade disappointment.”

AND

“That’s a topic I want to dig into too. I think that if I focus so much on an expectation in place of doing the work for the goal/expectation, then that goal/expectation either does not happen or, if it does, it lasts for less time, or I struggle to achieve it. Perhaps the frequent downside of expectation is that we spend too many present moments expecting instead of being in that present moment. An expectation can pull you out of the present moment, whereas a goal can remind you why you need to refocus or have discipline or put work in. This is really more of a question than a statement! 
If I relate this to how I run, I find that it is very helpful for me to remind myself of a goal, for example, you want to run there as fast as you can, or keep working hard so you can reach this time (for the broader goal of whatever it is I like about running long and fast), but once I’ve reminded my body and mind of what I want, I focus on other things – my work – freeing my mind, feeling the ground, moving my feet with courage with each step etc. …. 
Here I am talking too much –  -but I think this also holds true for less clearly trackable goals such as – giving love – being vulnerable – connecting…. If I am stuck repeating and checking for the goal and expectation – I can’t really by actually doing the work for that goal – which in this case is kind of an end in and of itself, but also connects to broader life goals. So my final point is, I like goals. And, the work in the present moment is kind of always the important bit. 
I’m interested in the topic of expectations…I like this quote ‘I would rather have a mind open with wonder than closed with belief’….”

Wonderful posts.  Amazing and important questions!

First of all, I’m clearly a person who has goals, yes?    So yeah, I hear ya!  I am absolutely not sayin don’t have goals.  There is a big difference between goals, focus, and discipline and…expectations.  A huge energetic difference.

Sisters, hear this.    There is many a morning when Supermom don’t wanna get on her mat.  Don’t wanna get up at 4am to do so before my plus 5 awakens.  Don’t wanna get on the computer to answer emails so that our five Prana Power Yoga studios (Brooklyn opens this weekend!) run smoothly and the best ever.  That’s when I use discipline.  Just as the reader’s friend used it to get out there and train for the 10K when it was way burrrrrr outside.

I learned discipline early on.  I figure skated every morning at 5am before kindergarten, training for the Olympics.  So it was set into the Jell-O mold early, so to speak.

I then lived at my tennis coach’s home in Sarasota Florida at age 13 to train to go pro.  Not common experiences.  I’m aware of that.    And if you’re thinking, “Oh, I didn’t have those kind of early formative experiences Taylor so I don’t have much or any discipline,” I’m here to tell ya that if a person feels they have “no discipline whatsoever,” there is hope!  There’s always hope!  You can always begin again in this moment.  You can set an intention and start telling a new story.  Something like, “I am so disciplined!  It’s easy for me to (fill in the blank) even when I don’t feel like it!”  Fake it till you make it Sisters.  The Universe don’t know if what you’re imagining is real or well, your imagination.  It will simply send you the manifestation to match the vibration.

This is similar to the mantra I made up when I noticed I was always a few minutes “behind” schedule with the bazillion drop offs and pick-ups with my five kiddos.  We’d make it on time but there was always that oops goin on, with me wishin we had left a few minutes earlier (as Supermoms out there smile in unison since they totally relate).

The moment I noticed this, I began saying, “I’m always seven minutes early.”  To my amazement, after only one day of saying it, when I looked at the clock after finishing my morning yoga practice, I was, in fact, SEVEN MINUTES EARLY.  I giggled and thanked the Universe. 

But I digress.   And this is already too long, so Part 2 it is…next week.

A few tips for tonight:
1.  Don’t Frankenstein Your Lights

When purchasing electrical decorations, make sure to shop at a reputable retailer and look for the UL Mark.  Be sure to check the rating on your extension cords and do not plug in more than the recommended wattage.  Use special, heavy-duty extension cords for high wattage decorations such as fog machines and electrically powered inflatable decorations.

2.  Inspect Decorations with Fiendish Care

Inspect all of your electric lights and decorations for damage or wear. Cracked sockets, frayed or bare wires and loose connections may pose a fire or shock hazard. Replace damaged light strings with energy-efficient LED lights.  Look for a red UL Mark to indicate that lights are certified for both indoor and outdoor use. A green UL mark indicates certification for indoor use only.

3.  Beware of Candles

Candles, especially in a Jack O’Lantern, should be off the ground and out of children’s reach. Try battery-operated LED candles for an even safer option.

4.  Don’t Trip Up Your Goblins

Halloween costumes should allow full movement for your kids. Costumes that drag, constrict or drape pose a dangerous hazard, especially at night. Check to ensure that costumes don’t restrict your children’s vision, and instruct them to watch out for tripping hazards, such as cords.

5.  Say Boo to Unsafe Costumes

Be sure to purchase or make costumes out of flame-resistant materials such as nylon or polyester as these specially marked fabrics will resist burning and extinguish quickly.

6.  Be Safe and Bright

Choose costumes that are lighter in color and attach reflective materials to costumes. Make sure each child has a flashlight to help them see and be seen.

7.  HAVE THE BEST HALLOWEEN EVER!

Halloween’s just around the corner.  What’s the costume gonna be this year?

Last year we bought about a billion costumes at a yard sale that a Prana Power Yoga student was having, and of course, my plus 5 have no desire to wear any of those costumes this year (LOL).  Dakota and Montana have no say in the matter (they’re 18 months old) so I’ll squeeze em into the two pumpkin outfits fo sure because it don’t get any cuter than a 18 month old pair o pumpkin twins. 

So…what are your kiddos contemplating?  And helloooowww, what’s the deal with those catalogues espousing $40 costumes (don’t be embarrassed, I’ve partaken in em before, with my first child, Madison, two at the time).

Sagey, age 7, told me yesterday that she’s gonna be “a robber,” and described how she will do so, without needing a “real” costume.  I reminded her of the eight billion other costumes in the cedar closet and more importantly, of deliberate creation, and asked her if she really wanted to be a robber. 

Here’s what HALLOWEEN SEARCHES ON YAHOO came up with this year:

Baby Love. Babies are innocent and sweet, and most parents tend to make sure the costumes are a match for that innocence, and animal and flower costumes are usual favorites. Searches for “baby costumes” are up more than 3,700% this month. The 2011 trends? Angry Bird baby costume, cookie monster and Disney’s “Up”.

Top Searched Baby Halloween Costumes

Angry Bird

Cookie Monster

Butterfly

Dinosaur

Pumpkin

Top Searched Toddler Halloween Costumes

▪               Pirate

▪               Stay Puff Marshmallow

▪               Disney’s “Up”

▪               Elephant

▪               Brother/Sister costume ideas for toddlers

Top Searched Kids Halloween Costumes:

1.           Lava Girl

2.           Disney (Mickey, Minnie)

3.           Harry Potter

4.           Michael Jackson

5.           Nerd

Do it yourself?  Are the best costumes homemade costumes? Yahoo! searches for “homemade Halloween costume” are spiking 658% this month. Most likely, it’s not about the costume, but the fun with family and friends that goes into making the costume. Whether it’s a costume, caramel apples or pumpkin carving, Halloween is a time when holiday projects start capturing the attention of people across the country.

Top Searched DIY Searches:

1.           Halloween crafts

2.           Easy to make Halloween costumes

3.           How to make a mask?

4.           Haunted house ideas

5.           Create a haunted room

So what are you up to this Halloween Supermoms?   I’d love to hear.

A reader wrote:

“Taylor,

You said you would always be posting different articles on Boston Herald and Super-Mom. It’s been a few months and you already have “broken that promise.”
 Not trying to be accusatory, just disappointed.

Thanks, and keep spreading your light…
”

First and foremost, thanks M for the comment.  I appreciate you taking the time to comment and I’m glad you read my blogs.  I think you’ll like my upcoming book, too.    I’m not exactly sure when it’s coming out.  I was pretty much “done,” when the Universe threw me some curve balls that delayed the publishing and then bam!  On July 6^th my life and beliefs changed over night after a Universally sent epiphany and so now I am re-writing my book, incorporating this new wisdom.  Ironically and incredibly, I’m now so happy I didn’t publish it when I thought it was ready!  It wasn’t.  I’m also writing a second book, called “Raw Enough.” 

Anyhow, back to the comment…here’s the scoop.  The reason I have  double posted two pieces since I started writing for The Boston Herald in March is that they were both big “announcements,” if you will, and I’ve learned that if I don’t really spread this type of “big” news as best as I can (i.e. on both of my blogs, on our Prana Power Yoga newsletter, and on at least one Prana Power Yoga email blast to students), I receive a slew of emails from people who are “hurt that I didn’t tell them.”  They say that they feel sad that they had to hear it “through the grapevine,” etc.

Hence, the double posting.  The two pieces I have double posted in the last seven and a half months are:   “Why We Are Selling Our Restaurant” and “Why I Am No Longer A Label Part 1.”  I double posted for the reasons above and not for lack of material to write about—LOL.  I write LOL and laughed as I wrote that because I love writing so much and just can’t get enough.  Kinda like yoga.    And I have never-ending “material.”  I’m always writing—on my iPhone or on my computer when I have a spare sec, which isn’t often but I write real fast—because it’s my dharma and so it’s easy and super fun for me.  So the Universe is always putting things in my path that I wanna write about.  I’m simply the conduit.

I was originally gonna run the nine part series on Super-mom.com once a week, as all of my other blogs run.  That’s why I posted at the end of “Part 1” that Part 2 would run the following week.  But then Philippe said he didn’t think that sounded right, and I agreed with him (it would have run daily in the Herald and therefore, the whole series would be done in nine days on the Herald but in nine weeks on Super-mom.com), but I didn’t know how to finesse it.

So I slept on it and awoke Tuesday am with clarity, as I often do.  I chose to only post Part 1 on Super-mom.com and indicate in a few places on Super-mom.com how to read the rest of the series on my BEST LIFE EVER blog on the Herald, where it’ll run for nine consecutive days.  A perk to this was that Super-mom.com readers who don’t know I write for the Herald can get a taste of it and perhaps read that daily if they like.

As far as expectations, the title of this blog, no judgment M, but it came to me that for me personally, when I got em (expectations), they cause me suffering.  Period.  Every single time.  If I let go of them, I feel happy.

I remember when I was married to my ex-husband, I would repeatedly be “let down” and “disappointed” because of my expectations.   Then when we split, it was actually (ironically) so much easier and more joyful for me to parent our child as a “single mom,” because all of the expectations (of him as a parent and husband) were gone.  Expectations of him being home at a certain time, of him helping in a certain way, of him parenting in a certain way, of him being present in a certain way, of him basically being who I wanted him to be.  (LOL). I explained to him when we split, “Who am I to say who you should be?  Only your Spirit knows that.  And who are you to say who I should be? (He was also always trying to make me be who he wanted me to be—good luck with that one!—LOL)  Only my Spirit knows that.  We both have all these expectations of each other and are consistently disappointed and let down.  Not good!  We are both perfect as we are in this moment.”

It’s a big thing to let go of—expectations–especially in our culture, but I do my best.  (My yoga practice helps A LOT.)  And then things flow as they should and the Universe does a better job creating it than I ever could’ve.  It synchronizes things perfectly, even if it wasn’t according to “plan.”  Plans are good and necessary at times (when running yoga studios and showing up to work and delivering your children to school, etc.), but in the grand scheme of things, I now defer to the Universe and the higher flow.

I’m just sayin. 

It started with my children.

I operate from my heart most of the time, but where my children are concerned, it’s 100% of the time. This was no different.  And where the heart is concerned, when you are really operating straight from your heart and Spirit, there is clarity––and speed.

We were taking a ferry to Nantucket with our plus 5.  My husband Philippe and I were very sick and hadn’t slept or eaten much in days, had fevers, etc. We *never* get sick.  (Note that.)

On the ferry a Supermom came up to me and said, “Oh my God!  I love your blogs and Prana Power Yoga!  And I have twins too!  And they’re Dakota and Montana’s age!”

And there they were.  Cept I was confused…they were about as tall as Philippe.

I never compare my kids to other people’s kids.  This Supermom has learned that that only leads to suffering.  But this . . . this caught my attention.

Enter Supermom number 2.  She essentially said the exact same thing, showed me her (ginormous) twins, and my stomach began to drop.

Then, I kid you not, a THIRD Supermom approached me on that (one hour!) ferry ride, said she loved my blogs and Prana, and had…twins my guys’ age.  At this point I looked around for a camera. “Do they still film candid camera?” I wondered.

Parts 2-9 are on my BEST LIFE EVER BLOG.  See you there!

This morning as I went in to nurse Dakota and Montana, I found them still snoozin at 9:40 am. Gasps are heard by countless supermoms whose brood wake em at 5am, but Sisters, no worries, I paid my sleepless dues.  My first three were amazing wonderful happy babies but they weren’t the unbelievable sleepers Dakota and Montana are.  Oh no.  Madison woke me at 5am or at times 4am till she was 5.  Now she’s 14 and I have to drag her outta bed at 11 to go to her siblings soccer games. LOL.

But Dakota and Montana?  These kids can sleep. I think it’s a result of 4 things:

1. Being a twin. They sleep in the same crib and snuggle. When they wake for a sec as we all do throughout the night and early morning, they don’t panic and call me, they cuddle up wit their bro and go back to sleep.

2. They are who they are. Similar to it is what it is. . These guys are good sleepers and eaters. Just like I asked for!  ;)

3. They’re our 4th and 5th kids, so Supermom and papa are relaxed. This is mirrored in the twins.

4.  The Universe is kind.   They’re our 4th and 5th kids and we now have five yoga studios, and well, the Universe is kind.

But I digress. Yes, these kids can sleep, but they usually sleep 8pm-9am or so (and nap 12-4—more gasps are heard throughout New England), but this morning they were still cuddled up and deep in slumber at 940.

I said to Philippe, “They know it’s fall. And they’re already starting to slow down a bit n snuggle up more.”

So tuned in they are to themselves and the seasons that they just know.  No thought or planning required.

What are you doing to shift easily and joyfully into fall?

Emily from UL (Underwriters Labs) sent me this and I hesitated to post it because you know I’m all about deliberate creation and encourage readers to focus on what they DO want, not what they don’t want; however I share this with a vision of happy, healthy, safe babies everywhere who can be, do, and have anything that they want. (That’s one of the things I say to my kids at bedtime, “You can be, do, and have anything that you want!”

“As part of Baby Safety Month, UL (Underwriters Laboratories), a world leader in advancing safety, is reminding parents to commit a minute to safety.  Because 2.5million children are injured in their homes every year, reducing children’s exposure to potential safety hazards is crucial.

UL suggests parents and caretakers review a few quick home safety guidelines to help protect their child, such as:

•               Inspect your home from baby’s point of view

Get down on your hands and knees and search each room for objects or situations that may endanger your baby.

•               Eliminate small toys & other objects

Remove all small toys and other objects within your baby’s reach. A good rule of thumb is if it fits in a toilet paper roll, it’s too small!

•               Install outlet covers

Tour your home and cover all electrical outlets with outlet covers to prevent any injury to your baby.

•               Lock toilet lids

Install lid locks on all the toilets in your home to keep your child safe should he or she take an unsupervised trip into the bathroom.

•               Shop for a safe crib & purchase a flame-retardant mattresses

When purchasing a crib, make sure there is no more than 2 3/8 inches between slats; corner posts do not extend more than 1/16 of an inch above the end panels; and headboards and footboards do not contain cutout areas. Ensure your baby’s mattress is compliant with the open flame ignition regulations”

And I’ll add to this great punch list to be mindful of crib bumpers.  When Phoenix was a baby we were teaching at Prana Power Yoga NYC and staying at the W next to the studio and we asked that they send a crib up to our room, like we always did.  When the crib arrived, I called down to Indiana at the front desk and said that they had forgotten the bumper!  She said they didn’t do bumpers anymore, and sure enough, there was a scary warning on the crib about bumpers.  I shuddered to think of what had happened, sent light to that child and those parents, and quickly moved my mind to what we COULD do so Phoenix’s little arms and legs wouldn’t get caught in the openings of the crib.  I googled it and got a great mesh bumper that’s safe.
Here’s to happy, healthy, safe babies everywhere who can be, do and have anything that they want!  It is law!  (The Law of Attraction). 

Have you ever noticed that no matter what is going on (or almost no matter what), if you pull out a camera and say, “Smile!” people will stop whatever’s going on and break out the best smile they can muster?  So even if they’re in the middle of a drama or an argument or are upset in some way, they will STILL put on a smile for that camera.  Why is this?

I have a theory.  It’s because they wanna be remembered positively.  They wanna be seen by others as their “best self.”  They think that there’s a chance this photo will be seen by others (hellloooowww, facebook), and so I’d better look my best in this moment.

So why can’t we use this theory in every moment?  Isn’t every moment a chance to show the world your “best self?”  Why is this moment any different than the last when someone was shooting a “candid” of you?

How about it, Superpeople?  For the next day, in every single moment, imagine that you are being recorded, photographed, or in some way, shape or form, seen by others.  Are you showing them your authentic self?  Are you walking with integrity and grace?