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Archive for January, 2012

“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.”

Robert Fulghum

When my 13 year-old, Madison, was a toddler, I said to her over and over again as she ate her snacks and meals, “Bottom in the chair!”

And over and over again, she’d pop out of her chair and start moving about, busy as all little toddlers are.

 

With Sagey, now six, the same thing while she was a toddler, “Bottom in the chair, honey!”

 

Yet she’d still get up outta that chair and move about.

 

Phoenix just turned four.  As I was saying this very same phrase to him about a month ago, I noticed, to my surprise, that Super-mom herself was…not eating with HER bottom in the chair.  In fact, (gasp!) I was eating standing up at the counter.

Now I gots five kids Super-people, and so you KNOW why I was standin up.   It was only a matter of seconds before I would need to get up from the chair to get something/help someone/wait on someone, etc.  So why even bother sitting down?

Well!  This is why.

How’s my child ever going to put his/her bottom in the chair and eat sitting down if Mommy is eating standing up?

How did I ever expect my child to do the opposite of what I was doing?  We all know that kids do what we DO, not what we SAY.  ;)

And how on earth did it take me all these years to notice this?

 

HUGE LOL.

That was Super-mom having a good laugh—at herself.

Not with judgment or frustration or even embarrassment (well, maybe just a little).

 

Just a good laugh for laughing’s sake.

How many times have I written or thought or said to walk your talk?

 

More times than I can recall.

Was I walkin my talk at meal and snack time?

 

Not even close.
Can I see this now and admit it and learn from it?
Absolutely!

And share it wit all my Sisters out there, too, because girlfriends, this is how we learn and grow and transform and…have a good laugh.  ;)

 

We all have “that” thing—that thing that is our button or our “blind spot.”  Or, perhaps we have many…but we all got at least one.

So ask yourself right now Sister, “Where am I not walking my talk?  And why?”

And then get quiet and listen.

Awareness is key, and even if you’re super aware, or think you are, there are always places you can learn and grow.  We all can!  And that’s the fun part. The learning, the growing, the transforming.

One way to cultivate the awareness, the open-ness to feedback, the ability to see what you are looking at:  get on your yoga mat.  Often.

One of my very first yoga teachers, now a dear friend, used to say while he taught, “I see what I am looking at.”

For the life of me, I never understood what he meant.

Now I do.  ;)   (Thanks Rolf!)

 

So ask yourself, Super-people, “where am I not walking my talk and why?”

And when the answer comes, and it will, be compassionate and gentle with yourself.  Be kind to you.

 

It’s all just learning.

It’s just the path.

And it’s supposed to be fun.

So lighten up.  Laugh more.  Appreciate more.  All is well.

And get yo’ bottom in the chair the next time you eat.  ;)

 

 

“What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear you speak.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The soul is healed by being with children.”

English proverb

“Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them.”

Lady Bird Johnson

“Only where children gather is there any real chance of fun.”

Mignon McLaughlin

“The potential possibilities of any child are the most intriguing and stimulating in all creation.”

Ray L. Wilbur

“Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be.”

David Bly

“If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm.”

Bruce Barton

“The work will wait while you show your child the rainbow, but the rainbow won’t wait while you do the work.”

Patricia Clafford

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Super-Mom Betsy Parsons:

I expected motherhood to change me.  How could it not?  Everything was new.  But what I didn’t expect was that motherhood would strip me bare – drop me to rock bottom – force me to face that I had lost myself – demand that I pick up the shattered bits of me and piece myself back together.  It was all at once brutal and gratifying.  I am grateful for all of it.  I have learned who I am and how great my support system is.  I learned how absolutely wonderful my husband is, what a fantastic dad he is, and what a loving and supportive family surround us.  It’s not just me who is a super mom.  It’s my husband, my mom and dad, and my mother and father-in-law who make up this super family.  Each one of us plays an important role. Life is a tremendous gift, and we were all starkly reminded of that during the first six weeks of my daughter’s life. We almost lost her.  The first six weeks of her life were spent in the NICU.  She was a full term baby but a very sick one.  After she came home, every milestone was carefully watched.   She thrived.  And I almost missed it because I was worried about what could be wrong.  It was 9 months later when I started to splinter apart.  She was walking and I was cracking – emotions needed to be expressed.  I needed to feel again.  Not surprising, but I hadn’t been taking care of myself.  I was just trying to make it through a minute, then an hour, and a full day.  I wasn’t taking care of myself.  I wasn’t sleeping well.  I was sleepwalking.  I rationalized that all of this was well within a first-time mom response (ha!).   Eventually, I was diagnosed with PTSD and got help.  I began to piece myself back together.  It took another full year for me to hear the stirrings of my voice.  It’s been over two years, and just recently I realized that I am whole again.  I experienced such joy in finding myself.    I had really missed me!  But losing myself and finding an improved version had taken hold – makes me so grateful for the journey.  It has allowed me freedom to be myself, to slow down and enjoy the moments of motherhood, to rely on my family to play significant roles raising my daughter, to trust, and to embrace the unexpected.  It’s often what I need most!  I’m so thankful for my super family – including my husband who is embracing his role as stay-at-home dad!  Collectively, we’re a super team with a super daughter.