“Although our intellect always longs for clarity and certainty, our nature often finds uncertainty fascinating.”
Archive for February, 2011
Four months ago a friend of mine from Brown invited a group of us to Cabo for a weekend getaway.
I was thrilled.
The twins would be 11 months old and I could scoot away for a few days easily!
They’d be fine.
So would Madison (13), Sagey (7) and Phoenix (4).
Philippe was a love and said wholeheartedly, “You should go! We’ll be fine. I’ll just hunker down and camp out here with the five kids for the weekend. We’ll have fun!”
He booked my tickets on points that night, and I was ecstatic.
My friends AND a beach!
I’ve never left my five kids. Ever.
This would be big.
Fast-forward two months.
I looked ahead in my ical as I was scheduling a video shoot for Foodforthought.com, and saw CABO in pink (of course) on March 3rd, 4th, 5th, and 6th.
My stomach dropped.
A feeling of dread filled my body as my heart sank.
A reaction like this I did not expect.
“What’s going on?” I asked myself.
“Why the dread? Why the pit in my stomach? What’s the fear?”
Then it hit me––my fear spoke loud and clear, “My twins aren’t going to be ready for me to leave them in 8 weeks . . .they’re still nursing five times a day! How can I leave them? How can they go four days without nursing, and without Mommy?”
When I saw my ex-husband the next day I mentioned my ambivalence about the trip (he knows all of the friends from Brown with whom I was slated to getaway).
“Oh, yeah, reunions like that are hard,” he said, and then he went into a whole thing about how this and that reunion with this and that friend turned out to be a drama because of this and that.”
“No,” I explained, “It’s not that at all. It’s that Dakota and Montana are nursing so much and I’m so blessed to be able to nurse twins so easily and I don’t want to leave them without nursing––and me! –– for four days and I don’t want to lose my breast milk.”
He continued on with more stories about reunions, as though he hadn’t heard a thing I’d said.
Some things never change.
I ruminated about Cabo for a day or so––very unlike me at this point in my life after a lot of yoga and letting go. I usually have clarity quickly and if not, I let it go until the muddy waters settle, as the Tao recommends.
Then I asked the Universe for help, and I did let it go. I set an intention to stop thinking about it, and had faith that the answer would come.
My departure date for Cabo is now three days away.
I have no clarity.
On Saturday I thought I did.
I was talking with two of our servers at Prana Restaurant (eatatprana.com), and one of the servers said, “I don’t have kids, but I think you should go!” while the other, a new Supermom to a three-month-old son, told me she was heartbroken because she’d lost her breast milk while she’d had the flu for five days.
“You’re my divine intervention!” I told her. “I’m not going. I don’t want to lose my breast milk.”
But then that night, as I was falling asleep, my Spirit whispered, “Go. It’ll be OK. The twins will be fine. Face your fear. Dust off that breast pump and make sure it works and oh, buy a bathing suit because Girl, you ain’t got one that fits!”
Well, maybe my Spirit didn’t talk exactly like that, but that was the gist of it.
(I’m a minimalist and have one bathing suit, and it’s the one I wore while pregnant with the twins, so a shopping trip would be necessary if Cabo were in the cards.)
Now if you’ve read my blog, you know that I ALWAYS listen to my Spirit.
Or almost always.
So why not now?
Why no clarity?
I’m not sure, but I will be.
At the perfect time.
That I DO know.
“Praise the bridge that carried you over.”
“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, ‘thank you,’ that would suffice.”
“Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you.”
“When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears.”
“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”
William Arthur Ward
“Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can – there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.”
“Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
Soon you can read Super-mom’s words on BOSTONHERALD.COM.
It is with great joy and gratitude that I share with you that I am now officially a BOSTON HERALD blogger.
My blog, called BEST LIFE EVER, is debuting this week, so stay tuned.
I will blog frequently on BOSTONHERALD.COM and often include videos. I will also have a QUOTE OF THE DAY. You can find my blog in the LIFESTYLE section.
I will also be writing for THE BOSTON HERALD newspaper, so stay tuned for that as well.
Yes! Of course I will continue to write Super-mom.com. It’s near and dear to my heart, as is every one of you.
Love, light, and have the best day ever!
Taylor plus 5
“Every day is a great day, some days are better than others” my uncle said to me last week. Becoming a mother was one of those exceptionally “great” days. Iris’s first night I could hardly sleep. My body buzzed with adrenaline. This joy carried me through the first few weeks. I was surprised at my resilience, running on no sleep and little food. I was like the energizer bunny; I just kept going and going, fueled by love for my sweet, soft, cuddly newborn.
Fast-forward 7 months and although the novelty of having a newborn has slightly dulled (we are very much into a routine at this point), I still find myself continuously amazed. So, here we are on a Sunday night in January. Iris has been sleeping since 7pm. At around 10:00, I hear her stirring and crying. When I enter her room I hear gurgling, sniffling and coughing. It occurs to me that Iris might have her first cold (her father has had a cold for a week at this point and it seemed inevitable that she caught it). I nurse her and rock her but she is still upset, which is rare (she is normally a very happy baby). So, I decide to bring her downstairs. We snuggle on the couch and I rock her back and forth on my knees for an hour or so. When I bring her back to bed, she falls right to sleep, yes!
The next morning, as I wipe dried snot from her face (chisel it off more like). I have a feeling the next few days will be challenging, especially since I am sick as well! Monday night did not disappoint. At 3:00 in the morning I found myself in the rocking chair (for the fifth time that night), rocking, nursing, soothing, rocking, nursing, soothing, repeat, my eyes half open with a pounding headache. I thought to myself “this is what makes mothers so special”. Because even with no sleep, feeling like I’d been trampled by elephants, I still had the capacity to care for and nurture Iris. In my rocking chair meditation, I could appreciate that mothers are very special people (fathers are too but this is about mom), because as soon as you become a mother (however that may be), there is a transcendence that takes place. The person who immerges is the best version of you. You are a person with boundless energy, exploding love, you are “mommy” and everyone knows there is no substitute for “mommy”.
- Curly Bear- Pure Love And Light And Joy
- From the Mouths of Babes Part 17
- The Magic Keeps Coming
- From the Mouths of Babes Part 16
- The Growth Chart
- March 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- December 2013
- November 2013
- October 2013
- September 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
- February 2013
- January 2013
- December 2012
- November 2012
- October 2012
- September 2012
- August 2012
- July 2012
- June 2012
- May 2012
- April 2012
- March 2012
- February 2012
- January 2012
- December 2011
- November 2011
- October 2011
- September 2011
- August 2011
- July 2011
- June 2011
- May 2011
- April 2011
- March 2011
- February 2011
- January 2011
- December 2010
- November 2010
- October 2010
- September 2010
- August 2010
- July 2010
- June 2010
- May 2010
- April 2010
- March 2010
- February 2010
- January 2010
- December 2009
- November 2009
- October 2009
- September 2009
- August 2009
- July 2009
- June 2009
- May 2009
- April 2009
- March 2009
- February 2009
- January 2009
- December 2008
- November 2008
- October 2008
- September 2008
- August 2008
- July 2008
- June 2008
- May 2008