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Archive for October, 2010

“Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.”

Stephen R. Covey

“The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose ones attitude in any given circumstance.”

Viktor Frankl

“No one can hurt you without your consent.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

“Between stimulus and response there’s a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

Viktor Frankl

“The possibilities are numerous once we decide to act and not react.”

George Bernard Shaw

“In the space between an action and reaction you have choice.”

Steven
Covey

A dear friend of mine asked me to write about finding the space between emotion and reaction.

She said that in her life, this translates a lot to her boyfriend. If they argue, she explained, most of the time it’s about something silly that one of them has reacted to–without being able to first find perspective–and minutes later, they realize it’s not a big deal, there’s no need to argue, etc.

She said that her Prana Power Yoga practice helps her to find that space, or even just be aware of it (some people don’t even know they have a choice!), but also to have patience and compassion with herself on the journey.

At Prana we talk a lot about learning to let go of reaction—learning not to re-act, but instead to act. To be present in this moment and operate from the now, instead of living in the past and operating from there, and hence, RE-acting.

This sounds well and good but my Sisters, you KNOW it’s challenging, as my friend has pointed out so wisely.

Especially when you’re interacting with loved ones!

Helllllooooowww!

Usually you just react in the heat of the moment, and then spend minutes/hours/days/weeks/months/years regretting it, explaining why you did it, apologizing for your words or actions, and so on.

A wise Chinese proverb says: “If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.”

Ever been there Super-mom?

Said that thing that you regret and wished that you could take it back?

Had that reaction that you wish you hadn’t had, and wished you could turn back time?

Done that action that you have forever regretted, and spent way too much time “paying” for it.

I just had a heart-to-heart with my 12.5 year old.

While I was writing, she came to me sobbing, saying that one of her friends was being really mean to her. I asked her to tell me what happened.

She explained that this girl had told another girl whom she liked. The other girl told my daughter. It turns out that one of my daughter’s closest friends is “going out with” this guy. So my daughter told her closest friend—“to protect her.” Now, the girl who likes the guy is texting and calling my daughter saying “Who the H*** told you and why the H*** did you tell so many people?”

I asked my daughter repeatedly if she’d told a bunch of people. I told her it’s OK—that I won’t judge her or be angry with her, but she needs to tell me the truth so I can best advise her. She promised me that she hadn’t. She’d “only” told her best friend.

“OK, then,” I explained, you need to speak your truth to the girl who is angry, and then you need to let this go. You can’t please everyone all the time (you can’t dance with everyone) and if you are speaking the truth (that she didn’t tell everyone), then you know your truth, and that’s all that matters. People will always find fault with what you do—people even found fault with the Buddha—but as long as you know in your heart that you are “clean,” you can ask The Universe for help in letting it go, and move on.

This is a classic case of the life of a tween (thank the Universe I’m not in 6th grade again—oy vay), a classic case of reaction (both by “the girl” and by my daughter), and a classic case of synchronicity (helllooooowww, I was just writing this article on reaction and Madison comes in demonstrating the very thing about which I’m writing).

Pretty cool. I love synchronicities!

So what to do?

How to not find yourself in this situation?

Practice, practice, practice.

Get on your mat and breathe.

Set an intention to cultivate awareness, calm, and peace, and ability to operate from your center no matter what is going on around you.

Be gentle with yourself and forgive yourself with love when you step off the path.

There are no mistakes.

There’s only learning.

Allow yourself emotion—but cultivate the ability to see the difference between emotion and reaction.

Talk to those you love when emotions flare up. Be real. Be honest. Apologize if appropriate. And then let it go.

Talk to those you love when you react. Be real. Be honest. Apologize and then move on.

Know that it’s all fine—it’s all learning—you’re doing great–and it’s not about being perfect.

It’s what you do most of the time that matters, and the fact that you’re reading this means you’re on the path.

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”

?

Wayne Dyer

“If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance.”

Andrea Boydston

“Being clear of clutter is one of the greatest aids I know to discovering and manifesting the life you want.”

Karen Kingston

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Super-Mom of the Month
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Super-mom Kim Cherelli

 

WOW!! Supermom of the month.    I was shocked to say the least when Taylor mentioned she wanted me to be her super mom of the month.  Me?  I never thought there was anything super about me.  I’m as average as average is, nonetheless I was and am honored to be thought of.

 

I met Taylor a year ago during Teacher Training at Prana Power Yoga.  I was instantly drawn to her energy and knew I was in the right place.  I didn’t know why I decided to become a yoga instructor nor did I know what I was getting into.  You see prior to signing up for the 8 week teacher training I think I practiced yoga about a dozen times.  I woke up one day and said “ I think I’d like to be a yoga instructor”  I proceeded to ask my yoga instructor at BSC how one goes about becoming an instructor.  She told me about Prana and here I am a whole year later.  I wasn’t really sure what I was looking for other than the fact I was looking for “something” the something that yoga instructors have.  I’m learning every day and I’m a work in progress but this is a journey and I am excited to see where it takes me.  The teacher training was an emotional and beautiful experience.  As quickly as the thought popped into my head to become a yoga instructor the same happened for my understanding why.  I’m understanding I am where I am suppose to be right now at this moment.  Stress is not as prevalent as before and I’m understanding people a bit better.

 

So, a lil about me.  I’m a single mom of one 18 year old son.  I don’t consider myself any different than the next mother. I never found raising a child difficult because it came naturally to me. .  I raised him simply the way I wanted to be treated.  I always knew I wanted to be a mother. I was 24 when I found out I was pregnant and afraid to tell my mother.  I knew what she would say or better yet the look or her face would tell me how disappointed she was.  Most people know my situation and how my son was the result of an abusive relationship, however I wouldn’t have change a thing.  I had to go through that for my son to be born.  If I didn’t then he wouldn’t have been born and I can’t imagine my life without him.  People congratulate me for being a single mom  my son does too but I don’t think I deserve any special credit.  Putting aside all my heartache and struggles in my life, it’s nothing compared to what some are going through.  I do count my blessings and I feel blessed to have been given this gift of motherhood.  There are those who want children and can’t   I am so very thankful and I can’t say it enough…..It’s truly a blessing.

“where you are at this moment is where you are suppose to be”

Sending love and light to all

Kim Cherelli