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Archive for August, 2010

After writing “Empty,” which posted on August 16, 2010, I completely let it all go—the feelings of emptiness which both surprised and pervaded me when we moved the twins into their very own bedroom, next to ours.

So as I continue to get compassionate and kind posts and emails about “Empty” from sweet readers, and students stop me in the studio to talk about “Empty,” explaining that they too went through a similar thing, my initial reaction goes something like this: “Huh?  What are they talking about?”

I’ve already moved on and beyond.  Let go of those painful emotions that enveloped my being that night.

The twins are happy in their room–two pals hanging out together–and I’m happy to have our room back.
It just feels right, and good.

What is so amazing and miraculous to me about this is that I can now so quickly “let ‘things’ go.”

Oh, my Sisters, in years past—pre Yoga—I held on, and tight.

You’d never have known it, but Girl, I was storing it all up inside, which is obviously not a good thing.
What’s the “it” to which I refer?  What was I storing up—not letting go of?
Whatever.  Nothing.  Everything.
A wise friend once told me, “Don’t hold it in, Taylor, even if it’s a little thing.  Little things all add up—like little pieces of confetti—and they matter.”
And oh, was my friend right.  Everything matters.  Holding anything in causes dis-ease, eventually.
I smile as I think back to my very first yoga class—to my response when my teacher said, “Let it go.  Let go of everything.  Hold on to nothing.”

I thought to myself “What is he talking about?  Let what go?”

LOL.

So to me, this is a miracle.  That I could literally have the response of not having the slightest idea to what people are referring to re. “Empty.”
A miracle.
And I owe it all to my practice.

Because of my practice, I am able to effortlessly let things go.
Feel them first, of course, but then quickly and easily let them go.

And if this is possible for this Super-mom, Super-people, it’s possible for you.
If you get on your mat.
Miracles happen every single day.

“Every beginning is a consequence – every beginning ends some thing.”

Paul Valery
“Children reinvent your world for you.”

Susan Sarandon
“Children are natural Zen masters; their world is brand new in each and every moment.”
John Bradshaw
“All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today.”
Indian Proverb

“Each difficult moment has the potential to open my eyes and open my heart.”
Anthony DeMello

“Our lives are filled with doorways. We call them transitions. They each take us to a new adventure.”

Mr. Prophet

“Every story has an end but in life every ending is a new beginning.”

Tonight Dakota and Montana are sleeping in their own room.

*Sigh.*
Their room is right next to ours, but nevertheless, it’s not OUR room.  ;)

They are four months old, and it’s time.
My sister and nephews just left after visiting from Santa Fe, and she was sleeping in “their” room while they visited.

My Spirit whispered to me last night “It’s time.  When they leave, the twins will move into their own room.”

It was fun today to move the crib, the two swings, the two bouncy chairs, the gymini, and the rocking chair from our room to theirs…  to organize it all so it looked nice.  To feel the fun shift in energy that always comes with change.

It was amazing—WOW—to see our room back to “our” room.

Very little furniture.

Very Zen.

Very minimalist.

I felt energized and excited.
Until tonight.
When I watched my twin baby sons sleeping just now in their big boy room, and then walked into our clean, clear, and Zen room, one word came to mind:  EMPTY.
E-M-P-T-Y.
Our room no longer felt Zen, minimalist, and calm.

It felt empty.

How could this be?
I love to have very few things around.
I love having one pair of jeans, one pair of shoes, one cutting board, one big sharp knife for chopping.

So why “empty?”

My mind—the suffering mind—fast forwarded…”Is this how we’ll feel when they’ve grown up—all of our five beautiful children–and moved out?

Empty?

Is this a harbinger of things to come?  A metaphor?

The once Zen, and now “empty” bedroom?

I don’t know, Super-people.

The lesson is still to come.
It’s a full moon tomorrow, which may account for some of the suffering mind’s contributions to this balmy summer night in 2010.

So again, as I do so often in my life, I ask The Universe, “What’s the lesson here?  What do I need to learn?  What do I need to do differently?”

And I wait.
Patiently.

“Grace isn’t a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It’s a way to live.”

Jackie Windspear
Check Out Taylor's Blog at The Boston Herald
Super-Mom of the Month
mom of month

Super-Mom Julia Badgley

My name’s Julia and I met Taylor a couple weeks ago when she bought a cupcake card through my etsy site, http://www.etsy.com/shop/CardsbyJeweleighaB . It’s pink and sparkly and at her request reads, “Have the best day ever!” As you all know, she’s chatty and friendly and I was intrigued to read her blog and marvel about how she keeps everything together with five kids and her career. Then SHE asked ME to be Supermom of the month. I’m a pretty good mom, but I think like most mothers, I struggle with guilt. Am I doing enough housework? (This is an area where I don’t want to overdo it!) Am I spending too much time crafting? (I justify it by saying that it’s for my sanity.) Are my boys getting enough quality time? I have to remind myself that the kids are happy and affectionate, as well as fairly clean (haha!) so I must be doing okay.

My two little boys are two and a half, and 11 months old. My husband and I were so enraptured by our easy-going firstborn, that we decided to have another one soon after, and it turns out that now he’s the easy baby while our two year old is a very busy boy; this has consequently turned me into a very busy mama who is outnumbered 3 to 1 in terms of gender. In a house of boys, it’s nice to be appreciated for my non-boyish qualities. The other day, Zach was admiring my skirt and said I was a ‘laly’ (lady). I felt pleased to be recognized as such, until he told me that was ‘funny’. That brought me down a notch or two. But really, trying to get used to a house of boys is something else. They roughhouse, throw balls at the wall, and seem to revel in inappropriate noises. And I need to get used to it because they are not me. Right?

As a mom I’ve really been trying to focus on enjoying the moments with my boys. It’s easy to get caught up in what needs to be done around the house, or the craft I want to do next, but I’ve been trying to stay present and enjoy the simple things- Zach taking my hand as we walk through the mall, Patrick’s big grin and love of music, Zach asking to read his Jesus book, and their dependence on me. These are the things that matter in the long run.