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Archive for August, 2010

After writing “Empty,” which posted on August 16, 2010, I completely let it all go—the feelings of emptiness which both surprised and pervaded me when we moved the twins into their very own bedroom, next to ours.

So as I continue to get compassionate and kind posts and emails about “Empty” from sweet readers, and students stop me in the studio to talk about “Empty,” explaining that they too went through a similar thing, my initial reaction goes something like this: “Huh?  What are they talking about?”

I’ve already moved on and beyond.  Let go of those painful emotions that enveloped my being that night.

The twins are happy in their room–two pals hanging out together–and I’m happy to have our room back.
It just feels right, and good.

What is so amazing and miraculous to me about this is that I can now so quickly “let ‘things’ go.”

Oh, my Sisters, in years past—pre Yoga—I held on, and tight.

You’d never have known it, but Girl, I was storing it all up inside, which is obviously not a good thing.
What’s the “it” to which I refer?  What was I storing up—not letting go of?
Whatever.  Nothing.  Everything.
A wise friend once told me, “Don’t hold it in, Taylor, even if it’s a little thing.  Little things all add up—like little pieces of confetti—and they matter.”
And oh, was my friend right.  Everything matters.  Holding anything in causes dis-ease, eventually.
I smile as I think back to my very first yoga class—to my response when my teacher said, “Let it go.  Let go of everything.  Hold on to nothing.”

I thought to myself “What is he talking about?  Let what go?”

LOL.

So to me, this is a miracle.  That I could literally have the response of not having the slightest idea to what people are referring to re. “Empty.”
A miracle.
And I owe it all to my practice.

Because of my practice, I am able to effortlessly let things go.
Feel them first, of course, but then quickly and easily let them go.

And if this is possible for this Super-mom, Super-people, it’s possible for you.
If you get on your mat.
Miracles happen every single day.

“Every beginning is a consequence – every beginning ends some thing.”

Paul Valery
“Children reinvent your world for you.”

Susan Sarandon
“Children are natural Zen masters; their world is brand new in each and every moment.”
John Bradshaw
“All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today.”
Indian Proverb

“Each difficult moment has the potential to open my eyes and open my heart.”
Anthony DeMello

“Our lives are filled with doorways. We call them transitions. They each take us to a new adventure.”

Mr. Prophet

“Every story has an end but in life every ending is a new beginning.”

Tonight Dakota and Montana are sleeping in their own room.

*Sigh.*
Their room is right next to ours, but nevertheless, it’s not OUR room.  ;)

They are four months old, and it’s time.
My sister and nephews just left after visiting from Santa Fe, and she was sleeping in “their” room while they visited.

My Spirit whispered to me last night “It’s time.  When they leave, the twins will move into their own room.”

It was fun today to move the crib, the two swings, the two bouncy chairs, the gymini, and the rocking chair from our room to theirs…  to organize it all so it looked nice.  To feel the fun shift in energy that always comes with change.

It was amazing—WOW—to see our room back to “our” room.

Very little furniture.

Very Zen.

Very minimalist.

I felt energized and excited.
Until tonight.
When I watched my twin baby sons sleeping just now in their big boy room, and then walked into our clean, clear, and Zen room, one word came to mind:  EMPTY.
E-M-P-T-Y.
Our room no longer felt Zen, minimalist, and calm.

It felt empty.

How could this be?
I love to have very few things around.
I love having one pair of jeans, one pair of shoes, one cutting board, one big sharp knife for chopping.

So why “empty?”

My mind—the suffering mind—fast forwarded…”Is this how we’ll feel when they’ve grown up—all of our five beautiful children–and moved out?

Empty?

Is this a harbinger of things to come?  A metaphor?

The once Zen, and now “empty” bedroom?

I don’t know, Super-people.

The lesson is still to come.
It’s a full moon tomorrow, which may account for some of the suffering mind’s contributions to this balmy summer night in 2010.

So again, as I do so often in my life, I ask The Universe, “What’s the lesson here?  What do I need to learn?  What do I need to do differently?”

And I wait.
Patiently.

“Grace isn’t a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It’s a way to live.”

Jackie Windspear

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Super-mom Jen Murray:
I am so grateful to be a mom to twins Laney and Danny(10) and my youngest Jake(6).  My children have taught me what unconditional love truly is. Being a mom has brought so much joy to my life. As I help and watch them grow, they in turn help me grow!
  Constantly growing and changing I decided last year after practicing yoga for some years to do a teacher training program through Prana Power Yoga.  The benefits that I gained from practicing has helped me get through so much that I wanted to share that with others.  Now I am able to do just that.  Since graduating in April 2012, I immediately started teaching and sharing my love for yoga and all its benefits.  Through our own breath we can self soothe.  It sounds easy yet we are all faced with this “simple” challenge.
Loving what you do and being able to do what you love is a true gift.  My family and I benefit from this.  My kids notice a difference….especially my very intuitive Laney who always keeps me in check.   When I told Laney I was writing this blog for Super-Mom.  I read her what I wrote and she said “ You should put in that you yell at your kids.” Ha….I chuckled at her honest response and said you’re right.  I do yell at my kids when necessary sometimes even when its not necessary.  I also love them unconditionally and continue to work on loving myself unconditionally even if I yell at my kids ;)
I will continue to live my life the best that I can, making mistake and perfecting things as I go but always doing my best. I feel honored to be a part of such an amazing community that I found through yoga.  Forever thankful for my children, my family, and my yoga.    Without them all I would not be able to feel so grounded, supported, and loved.