Please note that I wrote this article on September 18, 2009.

Love is…

~Choking down any food you can while pregnant and incredibly nauseous and every food on the planet looks repulsive and disgusting (at best) to you.

~ Putting your kids down with love and attention even though you are pregnant with twins and feel like you’re going to throw up at any given moment.

~Listening to every detail of your middle schooler’s account of what he said/she said, and really caring.

~Reading to your kids every single day, no matter what (“Mommy, why are you running to the bathroom?”).

~Starting every day with a “good morning hug,” a big smile, and good energy.

~Lining up friends to take your little ones to the park, the apple farm, raspberry picking, etc. when you’re too exhausted to do so because you’re creating two siblings for them in your belly.

~Feeling the most amazing and intense surge of joy surge through your entire being by simply watching your children sleep.

~Preferring spending time with your kids and husband to anyone else (not that you don’t LOVE your friends!).

~Giving your 5-year-old the last half of your Taylor’s Fluffernutter Smoothie (from The Prana Café—thepranacafe.com), even though you’re really craving it.

~Feeling your stomach drop as your 12 year-old tells you about what a mean girl said/did…feeling it as though it had been done to you—or worse.

~Feeling happy when you see your husband—every time you see him–and no matter how much time you spend together.  J

~Feeding your body the best possible Organic foods available (thepranacafe.com).

~Spending 95 minutes combing lice out of your 5 year-old’s hair.

~Listening.

~Not interrupting.

~Teaching yoga.

~Smiling.

~Breathing in and breathing out.

~Treating yourself, and therefore others, well and with respect and love.

~Saying no and setting a boundary.

~Teaching how to pick up your own clothes, put away your own stuff, and tie your own shoes, for the times when Supermom is not there with you.

~Saying yes and breaking a rule once in a while, with the wink of an eye. 

~Teaching love, peace, compassion, moderation, and tolerance.

~ Answering the phone when your friend calls even though it’s late and you’re tired…because you know she needs you.

~Creamy Raw Chocolate Pudding.  J

*Please note that I wrote this article on September 1, 2009.

Last Wednesday, on THE PRANA CAFÉ’S opening day, in the oh-so-wee hours of the morning, I did a pregnancy test.

We’d been “trying;” however, this month had been different.  I had totally surrendered any attachment to when our baby came and had really not been thinking about it or talking about it—at all (see “I will Whole and Complete When…” in the archives).

In the darkness of the room, I peered at what appeared to be a line—faint—but nevertheless, a line.

“It can’t be,” I thought to myself way too calmly and in somewhat disconnected way.  “This feels ‘too easy.’  And the line is so faint.”

Yet concurrently, one of my dear friend’s words echoed through my mind, disagreeing with my logic:  “A LINE’S A LINE!”

I put down the stick and got on my mat, vision blurred from only 4 hours of sleep after we did everything humanly possible the night before to prepare for our beautiful PRANA CAFÉ’S opening day.

I purposefully didn’t pull a “total all-nighter”—since we’d been “trying.”

After my practice, I grabbed the stick and woke up Philippe.

He concurred that the line was “pretty faint, but there,” and I tucked it in my bag for safe-keeping.

Yes, I walked around all day with that pregnancy stick in my bag, peeking at it in moments when no one was looking.

J

That night a dear friend of mine who is psychic called me and asked if I was pregnant.  I told her about the “faint line” and she laughed out loud.

“There’s no such thing as a false positive, Taylor!  You’re pregnant!”

I was still guarded about feeling the joy—the elation-that comes with knowing you are going to have a baby.

“You will feel different this time,” my friend explained.

She had had miscarriages before she conceived her daughter and son and knew the drill.

I was clearly not letting myself get excited, or feel–anything.

The next morning I tested again and yes, the line was there–oh yes it was there–and so much darker this time.

I allowed the joy—the elation–to enter my body, mind, and spirit.  It was as if an enormous light filled my body.  More energy and joy than I could ever describe in words.

Again, I woke Philippe in the wee hours, holding a stick 1 inch from his sleepy eyes.  But this time I had tears in my eyes and was shaking–with joy.

“Ohhhh, Supermom,” he said with love and compassion, and gave me a hug to calm my tears.

He thought I was crying because it was negative.

“No!” I exclaimed.  “Look!  Look!  Look at the line!  It’s there.  It’s THERE!”

He examined it and saw that yes it WAS there, and we both squealed with joy.

That day, all day, I told my big news to anyone with whom I came into contact with– with whom I am very close.

Now, I love people and feel very close to quite a few people, and I was in and about our PRANA POWER YOGA CENTER NEWTON and THE PRANA CAFÉ all day…so girl, I was spreading the word.

I could hardly contain myself!  The energy was so strong and amazing.

That night, my psychic friend called me again.

“T, I had a hit that you shouldn’t tell everyone about your pregnancy.  Keep the energy for baby and you.”

“OOPS.  Too late!” I said with a giggle.

“Did you blog about it?” she asked, slightly horrified.

“No…but I’ve told about 10 people—anyone I love with whom I came into contact today.”

I told her that I wasn’t and didn’t want to come from fear, and she explained that this was not about fear.  It was about HOLDING THE ENERGY.

“See if you can hold the energy, T.”

And Sister, hold the energy I did.  From that moment on, that energy has been surging through my body like no energy I’ve ever experienced.  And I believe it’s helping my pregnancy to be the best one ever for me.

The day I found out I was pregnant and was telling people, I threw up 11 times.

Since I stopped spreading the word and holding the energy for baby and me, I haven’t thrown up once.

I also revamped my “eating strategy” for this pregnancy at the same time that I stopped telling people, so I’m sure both were helpful and instrumental in the shift—eating little amounts at least every 30 minutes (sometimes every ten minutes if the nausea hits) and chewing my food really well.

Now eating every 10-30 minutes is easy, but eating small amounts and chewing well is not—for me, anyway.  Especially when I’m pregnant.

But it’s working, and I’m keeping everything down.

So although I wrote this on September 1^st 2009, I didn’t post it on Super-mom.com until now, because I held the energy for babies (!!) and me.

Why now?

By this point, the word’s out.  This Supermom shows early Sister, and so my babies have already made themselves public with a beautiful and prominent bump on my belly.

“Babies?” you ask.

Yes!  SUPERMOM IS HAVING TWINS!

Addendum to this post:

**Our sweet babies’ ETA is May 7, 2010; however, they will come when they’re good and ready, whenever that may be.  Baby Phoenix taught me that!  I continue to have the best pregnancy ever, complete with a daily afternoon nap with 2 year-old Phoenix (Girrrrrl, twins means exhaustion x 2!).  I continue to eat very regularly in small amounts and haven’t thrown up once since that very first day.**