I got my period last Friday–right as we were leaving to teach at David Wolfe’s Superhero Seminar in New Hampshire—kids in car, engine running—LOL.

But it wasn’t LOL at the time.  I cried and was bummed out.

We’ve been trying to get pregnant again since I lost our baby on May 5^th, and this month I was sure I was.

But thanks to my yoga practice, I let it go pretty quickly, moved on, and had a lot of clarity from the Universe about needing to really let go, live my life, and stop “waiting.”

Since I lost the baby, I wasn’t doing some things that I wanted to do because “I might be pregnant” or “we’re trying.”  For example, I wasn’t waking up at four am to write, work, and practice for four hours b/f my kids wake up—which I actually love to do because I love that time of day, doing a juice fast to detox, doing some cool new poses on my mat that are intense, putting DMSO on my bone spurs, and so on.   I was even forcing myself to eat heavier raw foods late at night so that I wouldn’t get too skinny b/c some people say it’s better to have more meat on your bones to get pregnant.  After I ate late, I would have bizarre nightmares and wake up in the morning hung over b/c my body doesn’t like eating heavy foods late at night.  It prefers lighter foods so I can sleep well and wake up clear and happy.

I didn’t do any of this because “I might be pregnant!”

But I wasn’t, and that’s cool.  I will be, but for now, I’m movin’ on and livin.’

Not that I wasn’t LIVING before, but you know what I mean.  I still had a bazillion fabulous things going on in my life, abundance, and “distractions” from thinking about getting pregnant and of course all of my wonderful children and husband to love all day every day…but it was ENERGETIC.

I get this now.

Also, I kept saying to Philippe after we lost the baby:  “I know I’m/we’re not ‘done.’  I know Dakota is coming. I see us with four kids (or five!). I feel the baby’s spirit in my aura. And I will feel totally whole/complete when she/he is here.  Then I can relax and just enjoy them all, and live.”

He by the way totally sees the baby too and knows we’ll have four or five kids.  He’s rooting for twins (they run in my family).

Then I realized this week that me saying “I will feel whole/complete when Dakota comes” is no different than a person saying “I will feel whole/complete when I meet the right guy/graduate from school/buy the best house ever/have the best job ever/make a million dollars/lose 10 pounds, etc.”

There is no difference.

It’s energetic, and it’s putting life on hold until…and then I’ll feel complete.

Now if you know me, you know that I am very happy and very grateful most of the time and have the best day ever every day–this energy was subtle, yet palpable.

And this week the wisdom came:  “I am complete/whole now. In this moment. I feel this in my body, mind, and spirit. I feel the essence of this and live it daily.”

And I am not feeling this just so that the baby will come faster (Deliberate Creation says you must find the essence of what you want and feel it b/f it will happen). I really feel it and am living it moment to moment.

So that’s what the baby that’s coming to us one day has taught me this week.  A wise teacher.

Also, I’m not talking about trying to get pregnant with peeps anymore.  And this Super-mom needs discipline for this because it’s so fun to talk about and so sisterly. But I realized when I was re-reading Miracles by Stuart Wilde that one of the steps of manifesting is “don’t talk about your miracle with anyone.  This drastically dissipates the energy of the manifestation.”

So true!

I totally know this and teach it all the time, but somehow I was forgetting it regarding getting pregnant.

So if you notice that I don’t talk about trying to get pregnant anymore….it’s not b/c I’ve given up—it’s b/c I’ve let go.

What are you putting your life on hold for?