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Archive for August, 2009

Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.


-Bill Cosby

 

1. Leave the disposable nursing breast pad in my lululemon yoga top after nursing my baby in the morning, and then teach a 90 minute hot yoga class without realizing it’s there (they do work, and retain all fluid–LOL!!).

2. Email my in-laws back while distracted because my children are talking to me, telling them that I’m glad they had a good journey and arrived safely–in response to an email they wrote to me saying that their flight was delayed, they got stuck in the airport overnight, and their luggage was sent to Prague instead of Greece.

3. Give my first child all types of foods at once—whole organic foods and junk food–including my ex-husbands favorite, Jax (a cousin of the Cheeto), assuming she would choose the “best” foods for her. The result: a ten-year-old who had not eaten a fruit or vegetable since she was 12 months old–when she refused to eat earth’s best anymore, and whose two food groups consisted of 1. all foods white and 2. chicken nuggets.

4. Assume that a doula would “get in the way” of my husband and my birth experience. With Phoenix, child number three, when my doula snuck to the bathroom for thirty seconds and my husband began massaging my back, I was quoted as saying “What are you DOING, Jenna?!” Then, as I looked back and noticed that my husband had taken over: “Oh, you’re not Jenna!! I want Jenna, not you!!”

5. Eat nutrasweet or any fake sweetener or fake food of any kind.

6. Leave my computer on with tons of unsaved files open when our cleaning help is cleaning…only to return a computer screen which is completely black.

7. Leave the baby-gate open at the bottom of the stairs by accident and feel a surge of adrenaline while making my children dinner—and a strong intuition to sprint to the top of the stairs, where I find my proud and out-of-breath 14-month-old son, who has just climbed Mt. Pink House (safely, thank the universe).

8. Get married at age 25.

9. Make fun of mini vans and people who drive them.

10. Gossip in any way, shape, or form.

“Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.”
 

Robert Fulghum

“It’s not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can’t tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.”
 

- Joyce Maynard

“Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the only means.”
 
Albert Einstein
“A mother’s love is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking, and it never fails or falters, even though the heart is breaking.”
 

Helen Steiner Rice

“A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.”?
 

Dorothy Canfield Fisher?

“The mother-child relationship is paradoxical. It requires the most intense love on the mother’s side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, to become fully independent.”
?
 

Erich Fromm ?

“I want Papaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!” Phoenix screeched at bedtime that night.

He was turning two in seven days and I had been nursing him to sleep since I gave birth to him on Martin Luther King’s birthday in 2007.

You would think that I’d feel some relief at having some “time off” from this nightly routine. That I’d feel happy that Philippe could now join in on the fun, and I could put Sagey, age four at the time, down after not being able to do so for some time.

You’d think I’d be happy.

But I wasn’t. I felt sad, hurt, rejected. Yes, I’ll say it, as embarrassing as it sounds, I felt rejected by my almost two-year-old.

“But this means I’ve done my job—well,” I assured myself. “This means Phoenix is doing his ‘work’ of individuating, becoming his own person—moving away—from me.”

But it still felt bad.

All the years of training I’d had in Clinical Psychology, all the reading I’d done about “healthy” development in children—down the drain.

Bottom line: I felt sad and hurt.

But in that moment of feeling “left out” and rejected, I felt a deep connection with all of you Super-moms around the world.

We’ve all been through it, and if you haven’t, Sister, you will eventually.

I felt a kinship with every Mom who’s ever felt both proud of their child and sad concurrently–felt torn by the ambivalence of wanting your child to be strong and independent and also wanting them to “still” need you.

I knew what I needed to do.

I got on my mat and did a few sun salutations as Sagey, age four at the time, watched me momentarily and then joined in.

“I’m glad that we are doing yoga together now, Mommy,” Sagey informed me. “I’m glad you are putting me down tonight instead of Papa. I’m glad we’re having ‘Mommy/Sagey’ time.”

I smiled as I gazed at Sage in her downward dog. My feelings of “rejection” and “sadness” had been quickly replaced with joy, love, and gratitude.

Just like that the Universe had delivered me a miracle, and this Super-mom was back on track.

“A mother understands what a child does not say.”
 
Jewish Proverb?

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Super-Mom of the Month
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Super-mom Kim Cherelli

 

WOW!! Supermom of the month.    I was shocked to say the least when Taylor mentioned she wanted me to be her super mom of the month.  Me?  I never thought there was anything super about me.  I’m as average as average is, nonetheless I was and am honored to be thought of.

 

I met Taylor a year ago during Teacher Training at Prana Power Yoga.  I was instantly drawn to her energy and knew I was in the right place.  I didn’t know why I decided to become a yoga instructor nor did I know what I was getting into.  You see prior to signing up for the 8 week teacher training I think I practiced yoga about a dozen times.  I woke up one day and said “ I think I’d like to be a yoga instructor”  I proceeded to ask my yoga instructor at BSC how one goes about becoming an instructor.  She told me about Prana and here I am a whole year later.  I wasn’t really sure what I was looking for other than the fact I was looking for “something” the something that yoga instructors have.  I’m learning every day and I’m a work in progress but this is a journey and I am excited to see where it takes me.  The teacher training was an emotional and beautiful experience.  As quickly as the thought popped into my head to become a yoga instructor the same happened for my understanding why.  I’m understanding I am where I am suppose to be right now at this moment.  Stress is not as prevalent as before and I’m understanding people a bit better.

 

So, a lil about me.  I’m a single mom of one 18 year old son.  I don’t consider myself any different than the next mother. I never found raising a child difficult because it came naturally to me. .  I raised him simply the way I wanted to be treated.  I always knew I wanted to be a mother. I was 24 when I found out I was pregnant and afraid to tell my mother.  I knew what she would say or better yet the look or her face would tell me how disappointed she was.  Most people know my situation and how my son was the result of an abusive relationship, however I wouldn’t have change a thing.  I had to go through that for my son to be born.  If I didn’t then he wouldn’t have been born and I can’t imagine my life without him.  People congratulate me for being a single mom  my son does too but I don’t think I deserve any special credit.  Putting aside all my heartache and struggles in my life, it’s nothing compared to what some are going through.  I do count my blessings and I feel blessed to have been given this gift of motherhood.  There are those who want children and can’t   I am so very thankful and I can’t say it enough…..It’s truly a blessing.

“where you are at this moment is where you are suppose to be”

Sending love and light to all

Kim Cherelli